Double Blog: What does it mean?

It all started when Chicken found 11 fortune cookies in Bo's kitchen . . .

Chicken:  I was hungry and looking for a mid-day snack when I came across  11. . . count them ELEVEN fortune cookies.  Who has 11 fortune cookies in their kitchen?
Bo: I do.  Well, I did.
Chicken:  So, I opened all of the cookies and laid all the fortunes out on the table.


1. Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
2. You are soon going to change your present line of work.
3.  Opportunity will soon knock.  When it does, answer the door!
4. You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.
5.  You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.
6. Your present plans are going to succeed.
7. Today is a perfect day to give that special person a gift.
8.  The star of riches is shining upon you.
9.  You will be showered with good luck.
10.  Man is born to live and not prepare to live.
11. Courtesy is contagious.


Chicken: These fortunes are pretty lame.


Bo: But they wouldn't be lame if we put them all together and made The Ultimate Fortune!


So this is how a challenge was issued; a challenge to take these 11 mediocre fortunes and combine them into 1 Ultimate Fortune. 

Ashes:  And I shall judge the awesomeness 

of this Ultimate Fortune when it is complete.

Bo's Ultimate Fortune:

Today, be prepared to live; because you will be fortunate and opportunity will knock.  When it does, use your charm and personality to practice random acts of kindness on Man; then you will be able to get what you want- and you will be able to change your present line of work.  Then your plans to give that special person a gift of ‘The Lucky Star of Riches’ will succeed.  When you return home you will be showered with senseless acts of beauty and contagious courtesy.

Chicken's Ultimate Fortune:
Don't practice random acts of senseless violence (except when playing the newest Assassin's Creed) and your opportunity will be fortunate presents of the perfect star of good luck prepared by a contagious charming special man.   Yes, fear not the darkness, make the sacrifice for the greater good; because love, liberty, and time are the fuels that should drive you forward.

Bo: Hang on a minute!  That sounds an awful lot like. . .
Chicken: No dice Bo!  Judge away Wonder Woman!

Ashes: I like it. Quality writing with a sprinkle of pop culture. I give it two bullet proof bracelets up! The only problem I have with this is that there are no fortune cookies to eat. *Womp Womp*

Bo: But wait, who's the winner?
Chicken: Yeah, who's the winner?
Ashes: I am always the winner no matter the challenge; fore I am Wonder Woman!
Bo: That doesn't seem fair to me.

Chicken: Of course it's fair.  Wonder Woman wins fair and square and I come in second place because of my awesome sword!
Bo: (face palm)

I swear I didn't steel the Sword of Griffindor! 

See Midnight Movie Magic:  Harry Potter 7 Part 2

from 7/15/11 for more Potter-tastic fun!

Luke, I am Your Blogger- Part 1

Hello Muddah,
Hello Faddah,
I am blogging. . . while sitting in a lounge chair on the deck munching on carrots and enjoying an ice cold Cherry Coke. . . ahhhh, refreshing!

Our parents have a really big influence on our lives.   The examples they set for us determine part of who we will grow up to be.  The instill in us values that they believe are important and teach us things in hopes that we will be even more successful in our endeavors.

Now, bearing all of this in mind, some of the things our parents do are- well rather comical for a back of better words.  This is the first a series of blogs about the two biggest influences in my life. . . my mom and dad! 

But who to write about first?  Decisions, decisions, decisions.  Well, if you read the title of this entry, then you already know I've decided to go in alphabetical order and without further ado, meet my dad.

My dad is a great guy, and pretty resilient for a guy who raised 4 girls.  My poor dad was outnumbered 5 to 1 since I didn't have any brothers; even most of our pets were female.

He's always worked hard to support his family, was Mr. Fix-It around the house, and tried to teach my sisters and I every sport imaginable (with little success on my part). 

                                                                            My dad, he's the one trying to reach under my car, 
                                                                    attempting to put the serpentine belt back on my car after it slipped off.  
                                                                                    It took lots of 'man hours', but he fixed it!

My dad is also kind of quirky, and it is with much love in my heart that I relate to you some of the quirkiness that is my dad.

Dad at the Movies

Okay, to even start this story I need to tell you a little about my dad's appearance.  He's 6 foot 1 in. and is about as wide as a string bean.  The guy can eat a meal for 4 in one sitting and actually loose weight (an attribute I did not obtain).  We joke and say he's got a bottomless pit for a stomach.

He's also quite astute and picks up on things, especially movie plots;  and I'm talking quickly, VERY quickly, like withing the first 5 minutes of a movie.

When arriving at the movie theater my dad has to have his own personal jumbo size bathtub of popcorn.  Bottomless pit, remember?  

                                           One bathtub of hot buttered popcorn please.

To this day, I honestly still don't know how one man can eat so much popcorn without popping themselves, but he does and saves room for lunch afterwards.  

Before the movie begins, it's great to sit by my dad because he doesn't talk; in fact, the only thing he does do before the movie is work on polishing off his bathtub of popcorn- so he can get a free refill (making every kernel worth every penny).  

Once the movie starts, well, that's another story.   

You see, my dad will talk his way through the movie.  He repeats lines of dialog; not a word, or a few words, but entire paragraphs of dialog. The thing about that is my dad is very loud without trying (an attribute I did get from him).   So when he's repeating the movie dialog, everyone in about a 10 seat radius can hear him.

If you go to the movies with my dad, spoiler alert, he will ruin the ending of the movie at the beginning and sometimes the sequels that haven't even been filmed yet.  

I don't know how he does it, magic or something, but whenever a movie gets started, within the first 5 minutes of it starting, or any given character being on screen, he accurately predicts what will happen to them by the end of the movie.

Here are some real examples. . .
Dad: (munch munch munch) See Bruce Willis' character there?
Bo: Yeah.
Dad: He's dead.  That's why that kid can see him.  He's a ghost.

Audience: (laughter over funny part)
Dad: That lady over there in the white shirt.
Chicken: Yeah.
Dad:  She's going to die when they get there.
Chicken: No way, she's a lead character.
Dad: (munch munch) She's still going to die when they get there.

Dad: That guy there, that you can only see his hands.
Bo: Yeah.
Dad: That's Dr. Moriarty.
On Screen: Blah blah blah blah Dr. Moriarty.
Bo: How did you know that?!?
Dad: It just makes sense.  And that lady there that he's talking to. . .
Bo: Yeah.
Dad: She's going to be killed in the sequel.
Bo: Dad, there may not even be a sequel; this one just came out.
Dad: No, there has to be a sequel and she's going to get killed in the beginning of it.
Bo: How do you know that?
Dad: It just makes sense.  (munch munch)  Did you hear that? 'Dad repeats dialog from film.'  

It is important to remember that my dad is unintentionally loud when he's in a movie theater so everyone within a 10 seat/4 row radius hears these conversations.   I can only assume that they get as mystified as my sisters and I when he ALWAYS accurately predicts endings, sequels' plots, and deaths in movies.  

I'd like to imagine that 1.5 years later when 'that' movie's sequel did come out; there were about 30 people who upon seeing it thought
"WT*@#&%!!! How did that guy know that?!?!"

Yeah my dad is quite the character, and you don't even know half the story; there is much, much more to come in. . .
Luke, I Am Your Blogger- Part 2.

Come On Brain, Make a New Blog Title

Sometimes I feel like my brain has taken a vacation and forgot to take me along.  Typically this occurs when I'm super stressed out and it seems like anything that could happen does and it happens all at the same stinking time.   

To try to keep balanced, I try to incorporate at least an hour of "me" time everyday.  Now, typically this "me" time takes place in the evenings before bed.   A large portion of this time is spent reading, but not all of it.  I make sure that whatever I do, it  is something non-work related that I thoroughly enjoy, and since I love technology (and free things). . . I going to share some of my favorite FREE Zen apps with you.

Here are my favorite Zen Apps in no particular order. . .

Zen Space

If you like using a desktop zen garden, this is the app for you.  It's free and you don't have to worry about sand getting all over the place.  It also has sound that you can run while you are in the app.  If you do a good job of keeping things equal, butterflies will start appearing and will flit across the screen.

Hello Flower

This is a really cool app where you can create your own flowers from the inside out.  You can choose your color, shape, and style of each petal.  Here's a few screen shots of me creating a flower.  I've had a lot of fun with this app.

Bubble Wrap

Who doesn't love bubble wrap?  This app is great for those moments when you just need to chill.  It has 2 modes: just pop (which is my favorite) and a timed round when you have to pop an entire page in a set amount of time.  For me, when I'm just trying to chill, a timed game seems kind of counter intuitive;  so I try to stay away from those.

Fluidity

I love, love, LOVE this app!  You can change the color, amount of sparkle, and the consistency of the liquid.  Talk about cool!  This is a very calming app and it let's your mind wander.  I love seeing artistic photos of space, and to me, it's like your creating amazing photos of the stars.

Nature Scenes

As you can see there's a running trend with putting ads at the bottom of the free apps; now this really doesn't bother me anymore.  I think I've built some kind of commercial immunity, and I am pretty good at blocking them out completely.  But, this apps' ads really don't bother me since your not really going to be watching the screen; instead you'll be listening to the calming sounds of the rain.

This app also has a mixer, which is my favorite feature, where you can add and subtract a series of calming sounds to make your own perfect calming background music/sound.   They even have sounds of the city, for those people who miss the sounds of the hustle and bustle of home.  It also has a sleep timer, so you can set the sounds to end at a certain time.  Did I mention this app is free?  

Pond Lite & Pocket Pond
The big difference between these apps is the fish themselves.  
In Pond Lite. . .

You are automatically given these cute colorful koi fish.  You don't have to feed them, just enjoy watching them swim your stress away.  

Pocket Pond . . . is another fish entirely.

In this app you have to feed your fish and clean the filter regularly. If you don't the fish die, I don't use this app often so when I opened it to get some screen shots I found out that not only was my pond full of algae and the filter was filthy, but. . .

. . .all my fish died. 

The sad part is, even though I used my koi credits (given for free as you keep up your tank) to 'purchase' new fish. . . the dead ones stayed down at the bottom as a sad reminder of what was.  On a positive note, my frog was still alive and very hoppy.  

If you are going to be a casual koi fish care taker, I suggest Pond Lite, otherwise you'll end up with a pond full of sadness. . . and a hoppy frog.

Apps aren't the only way I help to melt the stress away; in fact, they are just one of my many tools in my tool box of Zen.  I prefer not to be a homebody, so when I can, I have fun with family and friends, get outside and enjoy the sunshine, draw, sketch, and get all artsy!   These apps are just one way I like to manage stress.  Plus, there are just those times when your 'me' time requires just that; some time just for you and only you.  

To quote Mary Poppins, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down," but I think that laughter truly is the best medicine. 

                                   

Ms. Bojangles Won't You Blog For Me?

On February 19, 2013 it will officially be the start of our 3rd year of blogging!
So many shenanigans!  
SO many arguments!  
So many milestones!
So much. . . forgetting to blog!

In honor of the beginning of our third year, we are taking a flash back to the blog that started it all.  So here it is folks . . the first ever blog by Bo & Chicken!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
We, the creators of this blog, do so solemnly swear; that these, the accounts of our lives' shenanigans are true. . .sadly.  Life is complicated and sometimes takes you in crazy directions.  The purpose of this blog is to keep our friends and family informed of our lives; and provide some humor even in the darkest of times.

You may not know us yet, but after reading our blogs you may wish you still didn't.

Meet the Chicken:  My real name is Stephanie but my sisters and friends call me Chicken Little or just The Chicken.  I'm a single twenty-something-er-other that works at an animal shelter.  I enjoy spending time with my dogs Max and Kenji.  I love the Lord of the Rings, all of the Lego video games, and  I enjoy a good Disney movie marathon.  I'm the butt of many-a-joke by my sisters the twins- Ashes & Lishes.  Did I mention that I also enjoy playing video games, uhhhhhhh . . . what do I do.  Oh yeah, I like taking pictures and other stuff.

To summarize, I may be short in stature but I'm tall with opinion and I'm not afraid to break-out my soap box when needed.

Meet Bo Bo: My real name is Amber, but you can call me Bo.  I'm a single 29 year old with a tiny social life and way too much free time on my hands (because of the lack of said social life).  This free time allows me to become involved with a ridiculous amount of hobbies, which include and are not limited to: playing the piano, sewing, painting, canning vegetables, playing on my iPad, writing, volunteering at a local animal shelter, scrapbooking, reading, and much much more.  I'm allergic to pretty much everything- including lactose.  I can be extremely absent minded at times, I sing in my car and pretty much everywhere-constantly, and I have absolutely no sense of direction.

To summarize, I'm 29 years old, lactose intolerant, and have too many hobbies, and I recently used a garden shovel to clear snow and ice from my driveway; what else could a guy ask for?

With our powers combined. . .we are Bo and Chicken!  Not Lame!

*Blog Disclaimer*
Remember you read it; you can't unread it.

Happy Valentine's Day :'-(

Valentine's Day just isn't the same without you. Now, all I have is the memories, the wisdom, and life lessons I was blessed to learn from you.  I look at my hands and I see yours, I drive to work and I hear your voice reminding me to be safe, I cry and I hear you say "It's okay Bo."  I was never a big fan of Valentine's day, but now it's all about the memories I have of you. Forever will you be in my heart.  I love you Nonie.

Bloggin' Like It's Hot!

How My Dinner Nearly Burnt Down 

My Favorite Eating Establishment

Everybody has favorite eating establishments.  Chicken and I just happen to prefer Steak 'N Shake.  Today I went to Steak 'N Shake, ordered my favorite fast food burgers, fries, and chili.  I pulled around to the drive through, paid for my meal, and asked for extra ketchup.

Chicken: Because who doesn't love a little extra ketchup on their fries.

Bo: You mean who doesn't like a few french fries with their ketchup.

As I was patiently waiting at the window, I noticed that it seemed to be awfully smoky inside.  Then I saw a blur as a man ran past the window and even though the little drive thru window was closed, I clearly heard a woman shrieking. . .

"Get out!  Get out now!  There's a fire in the kitchen! Everybody now!  Your meals have been comped but you have to get out!"

At this point my I was stunned.  What do I do?  Then the guy who was taking care of my order calmly opened the drive thru window and smoke billowed out.  He calmly said, "Mam, I'm sorry but we have a little grease fire.  Could you pull over into one of those parking spots.  Again, I'm very sorry for the trouble."  

Then he walked away from the window.

His calm speech was followed by the woman screeching again..."Fire!  You have to get out of the building!  Everybody get out NOW!!!!"

I tried to pull forward to forward, but a steady stream of customers and employees were pouring out of the door in front of me.  

I looked in my rear-view window, so I could back up

- there was a car behind me. 

So here I am stuck by a drive thru window with smoke pouring out of it and I can't move.  Not the best place to be when there's a fire going on inside.  I tried to tell the guy behind me (without sticking my head to far out of my window and into the Danger Zone) that there was a grease fire and he needed to back up so I could get away from the window.  Mr. IReallyNeedMyBurger wouldn't budge and proceed to act like I was crazy for asking him to back up in a drive thu.  One of the servers, who were all now gathering in the parking lot some of whom were also blocking my forward exit, noticed I was stuck and came over to help me.  

She nicely told Mr.IReallyNeedMyBurger to back it up and then came to my window.  She told me I could stay but she wasn't sure when they'd be able to get my food.  I told her I'd go elsewhere but I had already paid and $22.86 may not seem like a lot to some people, but to someone on a fixed income it's like. . .$22.86.  She went back over to the servers and came back with a hand full of one dollar bills.

Bo: I don't want to take your tips!

Nice Server: No, it's okay.  I'll just tell my boss and he'll refund us.  

I felt horrible and I told her as such, but she took my receipt and reassured me that all was well.  She also told me I'd better get out of the parking lot as soon as possible or I'd get blocked in with the incoming emergency team in route.  She managed to part the sea of people and get me out of there.  

I went to the nearby Taco Bell and had to pay dinner with all those ones.  The teller at the window looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "woah, this is a lot of ones."

Okay, I dress fairly conservatively so this really made me mad and I had to explain the whole ordeal from earlier just to make myself feel better AND to make Mr. NachoMcMeanie lower that eyebrow.

Chicken: Stripper Singles!  Lol!

When I left Taco Bell I looked over to the Steak 'N Shake.  I am not even close to kidding when I tell you that every police office, ambulance, emergency vehicle, and fire truck was either in their parking lot or blocking off the entire road in front of it.

I bet the grease fire probably looked like this. . .

But with all the insanity caused, it made me feel like it was. . .

As I was trying to digest this whole event, as well as digesting my dinner, I realized something.  

I was at the window when the fire started.  

I had already paid when the fire started.  

While I was waiting for my food I noticed the smoke.  

BAM!  

It hit me.  

Our dinner.  

They were cooking our dinner when the grease fire started.

And that, my friends, is the true story of our dinner nearly burnt down our favorite dining establishment.

Possum-mania

I may be a country gal at heart, 

but there are some critters I just don't take too kindly to.

Possums are one of those critters.

Don't get me wrong, they are cute in their own odd furry rat-like way.

But possums and I will never be friends.

Plus, after what happened on Sunday; well, I have a feeling that possums will be staying far away from me by  choice. . . let me explain.

I was awoken at 7:30 a.m. by Chicken.  

It went something like this. . .

Chicken: Bo, I have to go to work and there was a frickin possum. . . like a 20 pound possum sitting on the deck.   And Max almost ran into him, and I didn't notice him at first, I just noticed him when Max almost ran into him.  He's still behind the towel holder on the deck.  

Bo: What?

Chicken: Don't let my dogs out until the possum is gone.

Bo: Are you serious?

Chicken: Yes, I'm serious.  I've called mom, she and dad will be over to take care of it before they go to church.

Bo: Mumble.

Chicken: Bo, did you get that? Bo? Bo!

Bo: . . . possum is eating your dog, get a towel for mom and dad's church. . . ummm humm.

(Chicken's dog Max)

Chicken: If I come home and my dogs have rabies. . . 

(door slam, stomp, stomp, stomp)

Bo:  So I must admit, I kind of thought the whole conversation I had with Chicken was just a dream.  

Chicken:  Which is why I took a picture of the possum before I left, because I knew if it ran off you'd never believe it was actually here. 

Photo Evidence:

I went outside, cautiously, 

looking for this deranged rabid possum.   I looked and looked, and looked, and all I found was. . .

nothing.  Absolutely nothing.
I let the dogs out into the backyard and stayed with them- looking everywhere- just in case.

Then by a fluke, I remembered that the hot tub could probably use another chlorine tablet.  I reached over the open the large plastic towel storage container and I saw him. He'd wedged himself between the side of the house and the towel storage box.  I had no idea what to do.  

If I left him alone, he might decide my backyard was the perfect place to live and take up residence under the deck; if I tried to remove him by myself, I could end up getting bit and catching rabies.  I went inside to strategize and suddenly my mom pulled in the drive way.

Chicken:  IF you had been listening to me that morning; then you'd have known that I called mom to come over and help.

Bo:  Well, I thought it was magic and that she knew by her magical mom powers that I was in need of rescuing so she came to save the day.   Which one makes the better story?
Chicken:  Which one actually happened?
Bo:  Anyway, I showed mom the possum.  The thing had to be at least 30 pounds.  Honestly, I've seen possums before- but I've never seen one that big.

Then mom had this great idea. . .

Mom: I'll use the snow shovel and rake.  We'll just scoop him up and just reach over the fence and sit him in the front yard.  That way he can just run wherever he wants to- away from here.

That seemed like a sound plan.  
But what actually happened was. . .

When I finally lifted up the shovel full of possum, the handle slid out of my hand and he plopped (not so gracefully) on the other side of the fence.

As I panicked thinking he could be injured, the possum proceeded to walk calmly around the deck, between the slats in the fence that divides the front & backyard and back into the backyard flower beds.

Okay, so we were back at square one.  The possum was back in the backyard, only now he was tiptoeing through the wilted tulips.   

So I asked my mom...

Bo: Now what?

Mom: Okay, new plan.  We'll just let him go for a little while and watch him.  I bet he'll climb the fence and be on his merry little way.

10 minutes later. . . the possum is strolling through the dormant flower beds- still.  

Bo: I think we're going to have to come up with a new plan, mom.  Or else I'm going to have to deal with the fact that a possum is now living in my backyard.

Mom: Are you still having trouble with your lawn mower.

Bo:Yeah.

Mom: Well, where is it?

Bo:In the garage.  Mom, we need to deal with this possum first then we can worry about the lawn mower.  

Mom: Go get the lawn mower out of the garage.  This possum will be out of the yard by the time you get back with it.

Bo: O...kkkkaaay.

I was totally confused, but when ahead with going to the garage to get the lawn mower out . . because when your mom asks you to do something- you do it.

I really wish I would have stayed out there though, because when I finally got back to the back yard I saw my mom using the snow shovel to hit the side of one of the lilac trees that had - you guessed it- the possum- climbing up it.  

As I stood there with a look of shock on my face, I watched as the possum, took his own sweet time to shimmy from the lilac tree to the top of the fence, over it, and out of sight.

My mom just causally passed the whole event off as nothing and reminded me to come over for dinner because she was making chili.   Seriously, there is nothing that scares moms.

I thought all was well until we had our first 'Panic Snow'.

We have a few each year.  'Panic Snows' are when the newscasters talk up the coming snow claiming it to be of 'blizzard' proportions which causes the masses to panic and raid the grocery stores.  It's good for business  but bad if you just happen to need essentials like toilet paper or food.

 Any-who. . . Chicken and I were watching the snow through the patio door and what do you know.  Here comes hop-along-possum himself, strolling across the deck.

Bo: We believe that this guy is living under the deck, but neither one of us is brave enough. . .

Chicken: or crazy enough

Bo: To crawl under there and see.  The way I see it is, as long as he

Chicken: or she

Bo:  doesn't bother us or our dogs, I'm fine with him living under the deck.

Chicken: Yeah, that really sounds rabies-tastic.
Bo:  Come on it's been nearly 3 weeks now with no possum sightings.
Chicken: I guess all's well until the early bird finds the possum.
Bo: And by bird, I'm assuming you mean Chicken.