WTF Toledo!?!

Ahh, Toledo, Ohio. 

The picturesque scenery.

The friendly townsfolk.

The delicious food.

The. . .

The. . .

The. . .OMG!  Is that an adult MOVIE theater!!!

Yes,

yes it is.

Now we're normally a pretty balanced pair, Chicken and I.

Chicken: I always see my glass half full of ice

               and completely full of Diet Coke.

Bo: And I always see my wine glass half-full of

       Silk's chocolate lite soy milk.

Chicken:  I like to smile.

Bo: I like to laugh.

Chicken: I like to laugh at Bo's laugh.

But there were many times when we both just looked at each other.  It took us quite a while before we could verbalize what it was we were thinking, because we just couldn't find the right words.  But we think we finally have them now: 

WTF Toledo!?!?

Everybody thinks of their hometown as the perfect place to be; so it's to be expected when you travel you'll invariably see something that makes you go "uhh?!?"  It was this "uhhh?!?" moment that has led us to write this, the first in a series of blog entries of traveling discoveries.

We had plenty of WTF Toledo moments
and some of them were so crazy
 it's resulted in us having to use the large-size font.

Now we're going to share these moments with you,
please join us in saying:

WTF Toledo!?!?

First let us start out by saying that we had a lot of problems with the road conditions.  Every street seemed to have some kind of construction work going on.  We would have taken a picture of the crazy maze of road cones that were out, but that would have required the use of our hands to pick up the camera and we were to busy clinging to our seat belts for dear life while Lishes navigated us safely through. 

When we passed all the traffic cone chaos, we started to really take in our scenery.

Then we saw the street lights. . .

Yeah, that's right. 

There are four lights on it. 

Believe it or not, this traffic light actually looks normal compared to the ones we saw with 5 (FIVE) lights on them. 

We have theories about what other colors there could possibly be on the traffic lights and what they meant.

We came up with these possibilities:

Red- Stop

Yellow- Slow Down

Green- Go

Blue- Do the Time Warp

 

or

Red- Stop

Orange- There is no turning back now! 

                Gun-it-and-run-it!

Yellow- Go Faster!  The lights going to turn red soon!

Green- Go at a moderate pace,

             take all the time you need to take in the scenery.

Lighter Green- It's a race

                         between you and the neighboring suburban. 

                         Burn some rubber! 

                         Go, Man, Go!

It ends up that what we considered extra lights were actually turn lights.  Go Figure! 

Chicken: Maybe they save room by having

               all the lights together on one unit?

Bo: I think our theories are MUCH more plausible.

We also saw several traffic lights that were set so close together that only one car could actually fit in the spot. 

What is outlined in red is the gap between the two traffic lights.  The green section is where we were pulling up to stop. 

If you think that's crazy, take a look at this intersection in action.

There are a lot of homes for rent and for sale in the Toledo area, so we took some time to check-out them out; like this beautiful one.

Moderately priced, completely remodeled inside, fresh paint, new appliances, three full bed rooms, lovely kitchen, with a modern interior.

Plenty of friendly neighbors:

I-Phone App: Sex Offender Registry

Less than 2 minutes from area shopping centers.

Oh, and did we mention plethora of friendly neighbors?

I-Phone App: Sex Offender Registry

Afterwards, we took in some more downtown scenery. 

Like, the building a dinosaur took a bite out of. 

And here we thought people weren't alive when dinosaurs were. . .here's your proof paleontologists!



We were also glad (and very confused) to share in the pride of this business' 1 star rating.

I don't know about you,
but if I only got 1 out of 3 stars I would not be plastering it outside of my business for the world to see. 

Let's look at this mathematically, shall we?

1 out of 3

1/3

.3333

33.3%

If we used a typical grading scale
(or any grading scale for that matter),
a 33.3% is an F.

So we're a bit confused as to why they are advertising that their business has failed.  Congratulations?

They weren't the only business that had confusing advertising.  We found this smoke stack on the top of a manufacturing plant.

This manufacturing plant that does NOT make cigarettes or cigars.  You can see our confusion.

We were also stunned to learn that Judgement Day is in May. 

This was news to us.  And to make sure we knew we were informed of said judgment day; we counted six bill boards advertising it, including a few in Spanish.

There was a LOT of graffiti, and it was everywhere.  Chicken even spotted some on a tree!  Artistically, we didn't understand most of it or had no appreciation for it.  Some of the graffiti wasn't that bad though. 

Here's Bo's favorite:

All to soon our day in Toledo was at an end.
As we hit the road, we thought we were leaving the craziness behind us.

Alas, no; because it wasn't soon before we encountered the following:

                          a gas station with a walk-in beer cooler

a blank road sign

(copy & paste this photo into paintbrush and create your own road sign)

two more blank road signs

                                a squirrel eating a hamburger

We could go on, and on, and on. . . 
but as we said in the beginning we're eternal optimists. 

This is just a tiny bit of Toledo.  When we first entered we were stunned at all of the little nature parks, hiking trails, and beautiful scenery.

 The sun glittering on the water in the mid morning cloudless sky was the perfect backdrop for our travels through the city.

Toledo also has a wonderful art museum, plenty of places for children to play and learn (including Imagination Station), and lots of great food.

Every city has it's little peccadilloes and own home town is no exception. 

Look for more WTF Cities!?!? to come out soon.

Blogging in the USA- TOLEDO, OH

Ohio,
17th State in the US
The Buckeye State.
State Flower: The Carnation
State Song: Beautiful Ohio
State Beverage: Tomato Juice

                                 Map courtesy of  EnchantedLearning.com
Toledo, Ohio
Home of the Toledo Rockets
the future home of  Lishes & Broham,
and our mini-get away destination.

We traveled to Ohio because our sister Lishes had a job interview there.  Lishes' husband, Broham, got accepted to the University of Toledo (YAY BROHAM!) and so the two of them will be moving to Ohio sometime this spring-summer (insert sad face here).

We had a long road ahead of us- three hours of road ahead to be exact, so caffeine was definitely in order.  We stopped by Mickey D's from some Moca Frappes and apple pies before starting our journey. 

The Moca Frappes started a long discussion on the "fluffiness" of the whipped cream and many other topics that included, but were not limited to:
stupid practice interview questions with Chicken (none of which were actually asked in the real interview)
funeral services for dogs (we got really specific and pretty ridiculous)  - this was a very long discussion
politics and current legislative bills
really gross animal stories
keeping in touch after Lishes moves to Ohio
memories of our Papaw
and how BoBo couldn't stay quiet for 5 minutes (she lasted less than two in the quiet game)

When we finally arrived in Toledo, Lishes drove us around downtown and showed us some of the sights. 

Then it was time for us to make ourselves scarce while Lishes had her interview; so we went to the Toledo Zoo. 

It was currently under some major renovations and it was hard to find where things were.  Since we went during the week and it was only 40 degrees outside (colder when the wind was blowing) we were two of about 20 people (including zoo keepers and security) who were in the zoo. 

We had the whole place to ourselves. 

By the way, walking through the zoo when it's quiet like that is very erie. 
Bo thinks the animals were more responsive and came right up to us because we were the only ones there.  Most of the time it was quiet, a little too quiet, except for the song that kept playing on the loud speakers called I love my zoo!

All the negatives behind, we actually had a pretty good time.  We saw some snow leopards up-close.  The female, Malenka, was very playful and kept chewing on her tail.  One of the zoo keepers stopped by to check on them while we were there and informed us it was breeding season.

Chicken visited some old friends and they had a nice chat.  BoBo doesn't speak parseltongue so she felt left out.
*(parseltongue is spelled correctly. . .we looked it up on the Harry Potter Wikipedia page)

BoBo: You're a wizard Chicken!

Chicken: A what?

BoBo: A wizard.

Chicken:  Really?  I always thought I was a Sagittarius.



After we checked out the Reptila House, we visited the POLAR BEARS!   Chicken loves polar bears, but she didn't love the fact that for the first time since we had been in the zoo there were 2 other small groups of people in there with us.  Arrg!

There was a baby polar bear, who was simply adorable!  He kept playing with a pine cone that he'd found.

Due to the insane crowds of five people, Chicken found herself trapped in the Arctic,
but since she is a true nature survivalist she made it through. 

Here are Chicken's Tips for Surviving the Arctic:

0. DO NOT go to the Arctic.
1. Caribou and polar bear skin can provide great warmth. 
    (You can attract a polar bear by flopping around in the snow -like a seal-
    and making "eh-eh-eh-eh" noise.)
2. Quickly fashion a weapon out of snow and ice cubes
    (use it to kill the caribou and/or polar bear).
3. If you see any bright lights. . . run like hell the other way.
4. Create a secure snow fortress. 
     (Keep in mind you just killed a caribou or polar bear so
     make it animal proof or fashion more snow-ice cube weapons.)
5. As appetizing as it looks, DO NOT eat the yellow snow.
6. Emergency fishing gear can be used to fish in open waters
    (Keep in mind you need to bring you're emergency fishing gear
      or you'll be up the Arctic creek without a popsicle stick.)
7. DO NOT go to the Arctic. 
     There's nothing there that you can't see in a zoo.
8. If you are on an all-banana diet you are in trouble,
     because bananas do not grow in the Arctic.
9. SERIOUSLY, did you go to the Arctic!?! 
     I just told you in steps 0 and 7 not to go.
10. If all else fails, leave the Arctic exhibit and head over to see
       Sigfried and Roy's white lions in the African exhibit
       (remember it's being renovated.)

In the African exhibit,

 it was nice to see the Bull Elephants in their native habitat.

There were a lot of statues around the zoo that were really life-like. 

BoBo really had a lot of fun posing with them. . .

. . .throughout the entire zoo . . .

. . .and Chicken had fun when she caught a lion by the tail.

Sadly, our  time at the zoo was soon over and we met up with Lishes for lunch.
We had a hard time picking a place to eat, there were a LOT of small town diners around as well as the famous Packos.  After much discussion we decided to go to a place that Lishes had tried the last time she came out to Toledo- Grumpy's.

Grumpy's was a nice, tiny, family owned and operated place.  The staff, despite the name, was very friendly and acted just like family.  Their menu was very comical and provided just the right amount of laughter.

A look inside Grumpy's menu:

There food was moderately priced. 
Bo give them 1/2 a dirty napkin for not having french fries,
but she also gives them 4 and 1/2 sporks for delicious food and a friendly atmosphere.
Chicken gives them 4 sporks because the waitress re-asked our order after it was given once, she didn't like their knives, and didn't like their soda.

Here is the unadorned burger:

Overall Toledo was a great place to visit for the day,

but we had a lot of WTF Toledo moments. 

Stay tuned for our next blog in which we will share all of our WTF Toledo moments. 

And remember folks,

being able to speak parseltongue is not a good thing;

if you don't believe us ask Harry Potter.

How BoBo Got Her Blog Back

This year BoBo's spring break was truly one of

randomness, magic, and discovery. 

It all started when my chickens (not The Chicken) started laying eggs at an alarming rate. 
2 dozen eggs in less than a week and a half! 
So what's a gal to do? 
Especially a gal that doesn't eat eggs for breakfast.  
Baking was the answer. 

So I baked.  
                  And I baked. 
                                      And I baked.
                                                         And I baked some more. 

Each time I found a boxed or bagged mix I became a little more creative. 
I added some extra cinnamon to my cinnamon apple muffins. 
I added a box of pudding mix to a cake batter. 
And by the time I came to the oatmeal cookies I was feeling very adventurous.
Mmmm I thought, this batter is awfully dry.  So I added some milk. 
Then I thought, these cookies will taste better with some chocolate.  So I added a LOT of chocolate chips (like half a bag).  I really like chocolate if you can't tell.
And since I had the cinnamon on the counter from the cinnamon apple muffins, I put a sprinkle of that in too.

The results were not good.  In fact they were actually quite terrible.  They were so terrible I didn't take a picture of them, instead here is an artists' rendering of our expressions upon veiwing the cookies that never-should-have-been.

Chicken: . . . .

BoBo: I'm not sure they're entirely edible.

After staying up until 11pm baking you'd think I'd be done for the night- but no! 
I dropped soda and started drinking water again (trying to loose some weight for swimsuit season).

There are a few things you need to know about a big switch from soda (like Mountain Dew) to water:
1. You'll have to visit the water closet- FREQUENTLY.  We're talking every hour at least. 
2. Water is better for your health than soda.
And most importantly:
3. Water gives you much more energy than caffeine.

Monday night was the tail end of day 2 of my switch to water.
After 48 hours of hydration, I felt like I had more energy that 10 BoBo's plus 2. 
And right then, at nearly midnight, I really wanted to bake something else. 

I ransacked the cabinets in the pantry and found another cake mix, but alas I was out of milk!  Since I'm lactose intolerant I had to borrow the milk I used for my other baked goodies from my grandma. 

So what was I to do? 
What could I possibly make that didn't require milk?

It was then I made the most amazing discovery in the history of baking. . .jello.
I'm not talking about one single solitary box of jello. 
Oh, no. 
I'm talking about 7 boxes of wiggly goodness.

I started reading the instructions and was shocked to discover the only thing you needed to make jello was water. . .and a box of jello mix. 

Follow these instructions to create your own Amazing Moment In Cooking History:
Boil a cup of water.
Stir in jello mix until it dissolves. 
Pour in 1 cup of cold water.
Pour in a pan and put int he fridge.
A few refrigerated hours later . . . jiggly goodness. 

BoBo: Can you believe you only have to add water!

Chicken: Really?  You've never made jello before!?! 

        Five year olds know how to make jello.

BoBo: Mmmm. . .jiggly, wiggly, jello-y goodness isn't far from reach!

BoBo's Spring Break Day 2

My dog Rosie has done some pretty crazy things.  She honks like a goose for one.  She'll eat anything, and I do mean anything, for another.  But I'll never forget what she did the Tuesday morning of my spring break.  I took her out for her mid-day stroll and she ran into the woods behind my house.

A few minutes later she came out of the woods, tail-a-wagging, and dragging something along the ground.
Ugh I thought. 
Then I proceeded to think up all the terrible things she was dragging ceremoniously out of the woods. 
Dead animal (most likely a rabbit) was at the top of my list. 
Followed closely there-after by old boot and tree branch. 
But as Rosie got closer and closer I realized what she was dragging out of the woods.

It was a dead animal alright, but this one was cured and honey glazed.


It was a ham. 

A whole entire honey glazed ham. 

Spiral Sliced.


A lot of questions came to mind in rapid succession. 
A ham?
Where did this ham come from?
Who throws a whole ham in the woods?
Really, a ham?

The last question was frequently interrupting my thoughts as I attempted to take said-ham away from Rosie, who didn't want to relinquish her prize.

Eventually after getting her back inside, Rosie began begging for her miraculous random woods ham.

Rosie: Mom, can I have the ham? Puh-lease!

You'd think the story would be over now, but it only gets stranger. . .

I went out to retrieve said-ham and toss it in the trash so that it didn't attract any more critters, only to find that the ham had been eaten.  I'm talking the whole ham.  The only thing left was the bone with a tiny bit of ham left on it. 

This made me wonder,

did someone regret throwing their ham into the woods and then come by and have a snack?

The world may never know.

In overview, this week I've learned:

1. Ham grows in the woods.  Either that or there is a supermarket in there.
2. You only need water and a box of jello mix to make jello.
3. Doctoring up a box of cookie mix only ends in disaster.
Chicken: That's how the cookie crumbles.

4. You never know what life has in store for you.

From random woods ham,

to my first ever jello creation,

to getting healthy for the summer,

 this has been an extremely exciting week.

 I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in-store. . .cause it's only Tuesday.

Barbies: Life in Plastic Not Always Fantastic

The four of us-Bo, Chicken, Lishes, & Ashes loved our Barbie dolls.  When we were kids we had every Barbie and Barbie-ish kind of doll you can imagine.  There was Ballerina Barbie, Hollywood Barbie, Birthday Barbie, Teacher Barbie, Mermaid Barbie, and the list goes on and on.

Though we had every Barbie you could imagine we only had a few Kens: Hollywood Ken, Ballerina Ken (or as we referred to him as 'the Ken with shoes'), and Beach Ken.

Mom & Dad encouraged our creativity and would even let us set-up huge cities that took over all of the downstairs rooms.  We didn't have that many doll houses so we built our own, using colored pencils, belts, and other random bits to outline walls and rooms for our Barbies to live in.

Chicken's OCD could be seen in all of her Barbie house creations.  She was very careful with the items she used to create her house and everything was sectioned off equally.  She even had an American flag in the front of her house, a garage, and equally proportioned kid's rooms.

Besides the four of us kids we also had dogs. 
Dogs and Barbies don't mix, as illustrated by this math equation:

(Infinity Barbies + 4 kids)/ 2 Dogs = Barbie 911

We were young and felt unbelievably terrible for our "handicapped Barbies."  It wasn't their fault that the dog ate their leg or arm off because it resembled a rawhide treat.
So these "Handicapped Barbies" were given the star treatment.  Whenever we would divide up the dolls to play they were always picked first (after the Ken's of course because they were an endangered species).  They always were given the best clothes and professions.

At one point, Mom told us we needed to give some of our dolls away because we had too many.  But when she came to collect a few of them our numbers had been mysteriously cut in half.  We hide them in our closets and in the gap between the wall and bed in our respective rooms.

Our Barbies always went on luxurious vacations;
from visiting the Alps (filling a Rubbermaid container full of snow and bringing it into the house),
going on a cruise (filling a Rubbermaid container full of water),
having a pool party (filling a Rubbermaid container full of water),
and visiting the beach (going out to the sand box with a Rubbermaid container full of water).

We wanted our Barbies to have fluid movements, so we went through the tedious task of stop-motion and developed a new found respect for the art form.  We spent countless hours creating scenes that only ended up lasting a few minutes of our Barbies eating or drinking.

Our Barbies also led very complicated lives, much more complicated than your everyday soap opera.  We always found a way to link all of them together somehow (you know the whole 6 degrees of separation). 

BoBo always let everyone pick their dolls and jobs first so she ended up with the leftovers.  Her dolls always faced financial complications and a lack of clothing.  Even though our Barbie money was invisible, BoBo always was scrambling to find invisible coupons to buy the tiny plastic container of waffles.  Also, whenever their was a ball, Bo's dolls couldn't afford to buy fancy dresses so they could go.  Invisible Barbie money doesn't grow on trees you know.
Chicken: Lame moment from your childhood Bo.  Where's your imagination?

There were also love octagons; since we only had three Ken dolls all of the Barbies were always fighting for their affections.

Chicken's main Barbie, Samantha the Indian Barbie, was a spokesperson for Native American rights and was the richest of all the dolls; mainly because she owned two of our Barbie cars and the Barbie horse.  She also called dibs on all the fancy clothes.

Yes, our Barbies lived complex interesting lives; and frequently vacationed at tropical, often exotic locations; sadly, only one our REAL lives turned out that way.  

Can you guess who it was?

Was it Chicken the Native American spokesperson with the horse and the mansion?

Was it Ashes with the fancy clothes in the grocery store?

Or was it Lishes with the Barbie jeep and the beauty boutique that specializes only in braids?

No, it wasn't them.

It was BoBo, with the lack of clothes and financial instability in the old farm house.

*Photos are from Chicken's visit to the Children Musuem's Barbie Fashion Exhibit.*

Fine Dining Without Class: The Capital Grille

Fine Dining Without Class Part 2:
Guest Food Critic Lishes
 at The Capital Grille

The Capital Grille is attached to the Conrad hotel, and if you’re not familiar with the Conrad it’s a 5 star hotel and the CEO of Eli Lilly lives in the penthouse on the top floor, so you know it’s a great place to bring the entire family (screaming kids included) for a casual weekend…….not.

I didn’t get to walk into the Conrad itself as the restaurant has a separate entrance, but the place just screams luxury when you enter.

Here are some pictures of the interior, (it was actually quite dark in the restaurant when we were there). Definitely has the vibe of being a rich man’s restaurant, which made me extra thankful that I wasn’t the one paying for dinner!  The red arrow indicates which table we sat at.

Once we are shown our table a slew of waiters came by and placed napkins in our laps and handed us a menu. The menu by the way was physically HUGE; we’re talking like one of those novelty cards from the party stores huge. Only the front page was for food and the rest was devoted to their extensive wine list and other alcoholic beverages.

As they took our drink orders I responded the only classy way I knew how….”I’m dying for some caffeine, do you guys have regular coke here?”

Our lovely waiter seemed a little fazed by that but quickly brought me one…a little embarrassed I rectified the situation by drinking my soda with my pinky up for the rest of the night. My classiness was restored!

On to the appetizer I decided to be adventurous and try Lobster Bisque. I think I’ve eaten lobster 2 maybe 3 times in my life and I have no idea what bisque really is, and after I ordered it I was confusing it with gazpacho and I feared that I would have to force down some cold lobster soup.  I should note that while everyone else at my table had a salad I made sure to let my dinner host know that I did not like “rabbit food” and would have soup and not salad.

In the short time we waited for our appetizers we had another person come by with butter knives (for the bread I forgot to mention) and a soup spoon for me, which by the way they carried on a little gold tray. When our waiter sat my soup in front of me I was ready to dig, but a flurry of other waiters came by to pour sherry wine into my soup and offer cracked pepper as well (side note: after the pepper cracker was finished he graciously bowed and backed away from the table like I was royalty, and by accepting his offer for fresh cracked pepper I had fulfilled a void in his life).

This soup/bisque whatever it’s called was insanely good. The lobster was tender and sweet and the actual broth/bisque/soup part of it was a symphony of spices and heaven. I could’ve eaten a bucket of that stuff and have been happy, but the main course was about to come out.

I had filet mignon which I have had before (not there of course but I figured mignon was mignon). They also serve their sides ‘family style’ which means enough for 3 or 4 people. We decided on the French green beans with Roasted tomatoes and fennel and the Parmesan truffle fries.

First let’s talk about meat (insert sexual innuendo here). That mignon was amazing, the most tender and delicious piece of meat I’ve ever had!  The green beans were crisp and delicious and the tomatoes were very sweet. I was super excited to try the truffle fries. From my years of watching Food Network I’ve learned a few things…..Bobby Flay is the most annoying chef for me to watch, Joshie shouldn’t have won Worst Cooks in America, Stevie Famulari isn’t an artist she’s an idiot with a grudge against Kerry Vincent and truffle is the food of gods.

My host asked me what I thought truffle would taste like and I eloquently replied “I don’t know…trufflie?” I have to be honest and say after my first bite I was disappointed. I was hoping for an incredible taste sensation that would rock my socks off but it tasted bitter instead. I tried another and another and started to savor the fries drenched in truffle oil (and by savor I mean suck the flavor out of them).

The more I ate the more I loved them; the bitterness disappeared and was replaced by a garlicky taste with a bit of bite to it. These things were addicting the more you ate the better it tasted. It’s hard to describe the taste, but I would definitely recommend it for the adventurous!

Just as I thought I was stuffed silly, our host insisted that we all share dessert. We settled on crème brulee, and it didn’t disappoint either! A terrific ending to a terrific dinner!

It was a great evening filled with good company, great conversation and insanely good food. I would highly recommend The Capital Grille for celebrating something (like an anniversary, retirement or birthday).

I wouldn’t consider it a place to just “go out” because you feel like eating somewhere “fancy”. The wait staff goes to great lengths to take care of you and I guarantee you won’t see an empty glass as they are on the spot when it comes to drink refills.

As I was treated to this dinner by my business partner I can’t say for sure I know what the final price was, but just a rough estimate from the prices on the menu between 3 people we spent well over $220.

So again, while this is an amazing place to go,
save it for a special time when someone else is picking up the tab. ;-)

Thanks for your restaurant critique Lishes!  That was quick thinking remembering to put your pinky up! - Bo & Chicken



Surviving The Great Outdoors Part 1

Ah, the great outdoors. . . the kaleidoscope of colors that accompany the early morning sunrise, the musical sounds of the birds chirping, the smell of the. . .the. . .the smell. . .OMG!  WHAT IS THAT SMELL!!!  
Surely nature really doesn't smell THIS bad! 

It doesn't take Bear Grylls, to survive the great outdoors; but it does take someone with an extremely strong stomach and the lack of a sense of smell.  

Chicken and Bo went on our very first REAL camping trip last summer with Lishes and her husband Broham.

Prior to the trip Bo spent 2 weeks in the library researching the whole camping experience; how to set up a proper tent, what to do if you get lost in the woods, and how to cook gourmet foods over a campfire.  Chicken also spent 2 weeks preparing for the trip, but she did it by having her Sims characters set fires in the kitchen and have parties outside.

Since we had never been camping before we decided to pack for everything, as evidenced by this photo.

Yep, we were in it for the long hall;
2 and 1/2 days, four people, 1 tent, a weeks worth of food, a 50 pack of glow sticks, a case of Diet Coke, a week's worth of clothes, 3 bottles of bug spray, 4 citronella candles, and 1 camera.

Luxury Items:

Chicken's luxury item was a jumbo sized bottle of ketchup, because no matter how bad we burned the food- everything tastes great with enough ketchup.

Bo wanted her luxury item to be the hot tub, but she settled for bringing her epi-pen; so she didn't go into anaphylactic shock if she got stung by a bee; but it was Chicken who ended up getting stung by a bee.

Broham's luxury item was a dozen glazed donuts for the authentic breakfast camping experience.

Lishes wished her husband's luxury item was jumper cables for the van; because it's battery died when we were on our way to go canoeing.

Upon arriving,  Shades appeared to be the perfect camping destination.  Lots of trees, plenty of friendly wildlife, and a cozy spot to pitch a tent.  It was perfect!  Absolutely perfect . . . until we had to venture to the bathroom.

We knew it was going to be bad before we even came within sight of the bathrooms because a horrid stench filled the air.  Words do not describe how unbelievably horrible this smell actually was. 
When the "bathrooms" actually came into view we were gagging. 
When we went inside, we were speechless.

The stalls were doorless.  There were NO sinks.  And the toilet was a hole in a box that we later learned was called a latrine.

There was a communal shower available but once seeing the "bathrooms" we terrified to come within smelling distance of them.  Instead of using the showers we fetched a bucket full of water and took bucket-baths.

As bad as the whole bathroom issue was seeming to be, we actually had a great first night. 

When you're away from all of the technology you have a lot of time to really get to know each other.  The four of us (Bo, Chicken, Lishes, and Lishes' husband Broham) had a lot of interesting conversations about everything under the sun.  From school experiences to video games, from current events to underwear brands and styles; no topic was off limits.

Talking With the Owls
One night we took a guided midnight hike with a park ranger.  It was amazing!  We learned how to spot animals at night by counting their "eye shines", where to find really huge spiders (scary, but still cool), and we learned how to talk to owls.

First we had to listen for an owl to call out, it ended up being a baby owlet calling for it's mother, and then we called back.  The owl call sounds like "who cooks for you, who cooks for ya'll" except you say "who" instead of those words.

We were pretty good at it too because after a few calls the baby owlet's return calls were closer and closer.  All to soon, we had to stop so the baby didn't keep following us.

Relying on the Kindness of Strangers

The day of our big canoeing trip, the battery on Broham's parent's van died. 
So here we were, all set for our day long canoe trip and we were stranded next to our campsite. 

Luckily, there were some hot guys who were camping across from us saw that while Broham was trying diligently to get the car going the rest of us were not able to be truly helpful.  Bo was hoping around on one foot (because she had chipped a few bones in her ankle the week before the trip and wasn't about to miss camping), Chicken and Broham were looking under the hood, Lishes kept saying, "the batteries dead,"  while Broham would retort, "it's not the battery."
 

Just then the group of hot guys from the adjacent camp, heard and saw we were in trouble and came to our rescue.

(Insert Baywatch Music Here.)

The four Camping Hottie's came and saved the day.  They took a quick once over of the van before declaring the battery dead.  Then they went back to their camp and grabbed a set of jumper cables and their truck returning to get the van in working order.

It just goes to show you that you really can rely on the kindness of hot camping strangers.


Canoeing Around the Riverbend

Canoeing requires lots of strength and coordination.
 Bo has strength but no coordination. 
Chicken has coordination but no strength. 
You'd think together we'd be a winning team, but no. 

When we were together in a canoe together Bo kept paddling the opposite way Chicken said to go and we'd end up hitting the side or getting stuck in a sandbar.  Of course Bo said that it was Chicken's lack of strength that caused all of that to happen. 

After trying a variety of combinations of canoe sharing, we ended up having Bo & Broham share a canoe and Chicken & Lishes share another.

Chicken & Lishes were a great team and lead the way down the river.  Broham managed to keep a smile on his face but Bo kept managing to get them off course and stuck on sandbars.

But when we stopped on a sandbar to eat a picnic lunch, catch frogs, and watch the other canoes glide down the river, we both stopped our arguments and just took everything in.  Despite the fact that we knew we were going to head back to camp smelly (due to our lack of showers), having to use latrines, and covered in river mud: everything was perfect, absolutely perfect.

Cooking on a Campfire

Mmmmm. . .there's nothing better than food cooked on a campfire.  For our first camping trip we stuck to the basics for our campfire meals: hamburgers, hotdogs, smores, . . .

. . . and macaroni and cheese.   After Bo spent spent 2 weeks pouring over campfire gourmet cookbooks at the library, she realized that theoretically you could cook anything you cook in a regular kitchen over a campfire.  So her goal, and quickly everyone else's goal, became the creation of campfire macaroni and cheese. 

It wasn't hard to do at all.  The handling of the pot when we poured out the excess boiling water was a bit tricky, but the results were worth it.

Q & A With Broham, Lishes, Bo, & Chicken

What was your favorite part of this camping experience? 
Lishes: Eating lunch on the sandbar during the canoe trip and dipping my toes in the water. 
Broham: Canoeing, it was a good work out and fun at the same time.
Bo: Campfire macaroni and cheese!
Chicken: The midnight nature hike!

What was the worst part?
Broham: When the battery died on my dad's car- but it was good because neighboring campers came to rescue.
Bo: I'd like to add the neighboring campers as another one of my camping favorites!
Lishes: Sleeping in a hot tent- felt gross & sticky, poor air circulation in the tent.  YUCK!
Chicken: The "bathrooms" and having to wash myself with a bucket and a rag.
Bo: The bathrooms and watching Chicken wash herself with a bucket and a rag.

Spending a weekend with someone in such close proximity you learn some interesting things about people.  What was the most interesting thing you learned about somebody on this trip?

Lishes: I learned that my husband has no qualms about peeing in the woods. I also learned that I'm more than willing to lean against a tree and pee rather than use the latrines.

Broham: I learned what kind of underwear Chicken wears.

Chicken: I learned that Bo & Lishes are both early to bed and late to rise.
I also learned that people find it irritating when you sing Just Around the River Bend (from Pocahontas) every time you canoe around a river bend.
Bo:Yeah, and there was like 20 river bends Chicken. The only thing waiting around every river bend was another river bend.

Bo: I learned that I really like canoeing but I'll need to start kayaking because no one will ever canoe with me again.  I also learned that I'm really lucky to have Lishes, Broham and Chicken in my life.  Oh, and that I really really appreciate modern restroom facilities.

Bloggy The Snowman

So just when we thought spring was finally making an appearance; we ended up getting another four inches of snow.  As you can imagine, after Snowpocolypse,we were already pretty delirious; and these most recent few inches may have pushed us both from slightly eccentric into Crazy Town.

What kind of shenanigans can happen with a mere four inches of snow? 
Well, you're about to find out. 
It ended with a terrified Bo calling Nonie (our grandma) at 2:16 a.m.;
and it all started with a snowman.

In about an hour on Saturday, Chicken, Alysia, and our cousin Bug; managed to construct a human-sized snowman.

Well, it may not be really human-sized, but it is Chicken-sized; and it was complete with mud for hair, sycamore balls as buttons, a corncob nose, and a rocky smile!

As you can see the snowman is holding a tin cup.  The cup was full of cracked corn and the ground around him was sprinkled with it too; so that he could feed the birds.

Well the snowman was much admired by all; but as night fell and everyone went home he was left outside alone (for a little while at least).

Bo was awakened at 2 a.m. Sunday when her dog Rosie started running circles around the house barking all the while.  Bo just tried to ignore Rosie at first, but she wouldn't stop barking and became more and more frantic.  So Bo went into the dining room to see Rosie jumping at the front window and barking.  It was then she realized there was someone outside of the house.

So what would any reasonable adult do in a situation where they knew someone was outside of their house at 2 in the morning?  That's right!  She ran into the bedroom and called Nonie.  The phone conversation went like this:

Bo: Nonie?
Nonie:  Hey Bo, why are you up so early?
Bo: (stage whispering) Nonie.  Nonie, there's somebody outside my house.
Nonie: You've gotta speak up, I can't hear you.
Bo: Th-there's somebody outside of the house.  (Rosie barking in the background)
Nonie: There's nobody out there it's just the deer.
Bo: No there is definitely somebody out there.  Rosie keeps on barking, I think their on the porch.  Should I call the police?
Nonie: (laughing)  It's just the deer.  I've been watching them for a while.
Bo: Deer wouldn't want to break into my house. . . I'm pretty sure it's a burglar.
Nonie:  No, it's the deer.  Look out the window.

After crawling into the dining room (007 style) and peaking out the window Bo discovered it was in fact deer.  Bloggy the Snowman was feeding a doe and two baby fawns.

You may now be thinking, "Aww that's so cute a snowman feeding a deer family."  But the possum that was lured out of hiding Sunday afternoon to eat the corn that Chicken spilled all over Bo's driveway, completely eliminates the deer's cuteness factor.

As you may recall Max (Chicken's dog) has a problem with snowmen and so we give him the final word on the subject of snow.