Surviving The Great Outdoors Part 1

Ah, the great outdoors. . . the kaleidoscope of colors that accompany the early morning sunrise, the musical sounds of the birds chirping, the smell of the. . .the. . .the smell. . .OMG!  WHAT IS THAT SMELL!!!  
Surely nature really doesn't smell THIS bad! 

It doesn't take Bear Grylls, to survive the great outdoors; but it does take someone with an extremely strong stomach and the lack of a sense of smell.  

Chicken and Bo went on our very first REAL camping trip last summer with Lishes and her husband Broham.

Prior to the trip Bo spent 2 weeks in the library researching the whole camping experience; how to set up a proper tent, what to do if you get lost in the woods, and how to cook gourmet foods over a campfire.  Chicken also spent 2 weeks preparing for the trip, but she did it by having her Sims characters set fires in the kitchen and have parties outside.

Since we had never been camping before we decided to pack for everything, as evidenced by this photo.

Yep, we were in it for the long hall;
2 and 1/2 days, four people, 1 tent, a weeks worth of food, a 50 pack of glow sticks, a case of Diet Coke, a week's worth of clothes, 3 bottles of bug spray, 4 citronella candles, and 1 camera.

Luxury Items:

Chicken's luxury item was a jumbo sized bottle of ketchup, because no matter how bad we burned the food- everything tastes great with enough ketchup.

Bo wanted her luxury item to be the hot tub, but she settled for bringing her epi-pen; so she didn't go into anaphylactic shock if she got stung by a bee; but it was Chicken who ended up getting stung by a bee.

Broham's luxury item was a dozen glazed donuts for the authentic breakfast camping experience.

Lishes wished her husband's luxury item was jumper cables for the van; because it's battery died when we were on our way to go canoeing.

Upon arriving,  Shades appeared to be the perfect camping destination.  Lots of trees, plenty of friendly wildlife, and a cozy spot to pitch a tent.  It was perfect!  Absolutely perfect . . . until we had to venture to the bathroom.

We knew it was going to be bad before we even came within sight of the bathrooms because a horrid stench filled the air.  Words do not describe how unbelievably horrible this smell actually was. 
When the "bathrooms" actually came into view we were gagging. 
When we went inside, we were speechless.

The stalls were doorless.  There were NO sinks.  And the toilet was a hole in a box that we later learned was called a latrine.

There was a communal shower available but once seeing the "bathrooms" we terrified to come within smelling distance of them.  Instead of using the showers we fetched a bucket full of water and took bucket-baths.

As bad as the whole bathroom issue was seeming to be, we actually had a great first night. 

When you're away from all of the technology you have a lot of time to really get to know each other.  The four of us (Bo, Chicken, Lishes, and Lishes' husband Broham) had a lot of interesting conversations about everything under the sun.  From school experiences to video games, from current events to underwear brands and styles; no topic was off limits.

Talking With the Owls
One night we took a guided midnight hike with a park ranger.  It was amazing!  We learned how to spot animals at night by counting their "eye shines", where to find really huge spiders (scary, but still cool), and we learned how to talk to owls.

First we had to listen for an owl to call out, it ended up being a baby owlet calling for it's mother, and then we called back.  The owl call sounds like "who cooks for you, who cooks for ya'll" except you say "who" instead of those words.

We were pretty good at it too because after a few calls the baby owlet's return calls were closer and closer.  All to soon, we had to stop so the baby didn't keep following us.

Relying on the Kindness of Strangers

The day of our big canoeing trip, the battery on Broham's parent's van died. 
So here we were, all set for our day long canoe trip and we were stranded next to our campsite. 

Luckily, there were some hot guys who were camping across from us saw that while Broham was trying diligently to get the car going the rest of us were not able to be truly helpful.  Bo was hoping around on one foot (because she had chipped a few bones in her ankle the week before the trip and wasn't about to miss camping), Chicken and Broham were looking under the hood, Lishes kept saying, "the batteries dead,"  while Broham would retort, "it's not the battery."
 

Just then the group of hot guys from the adjacent camp, heard and saw we were in trouble and came to our rescue.

(Insert Baywatch Music Here.)

The four Camping Hottie's came and saved the day.  They took a quick once over of the van before declaring the battery dead.  Then they went back to their camp and grabbed a set of jumper cables and their truck returning to get the van in working order.

It just goes to show you that you really can rely on the kindness of hot camping strangers.


Canoeing Around the Riverbend

Canoeing requires lots of strength and coordination.
 Bo has strength but no coordination. 
Chicken has coordination but no strength. 
You'd think together we'd be a winning team, but no. 

When we were together in a canoe together Bo kept paddling the opposite way Chicken said to go and we'd end up hitting the side or getting stuck in a sandbar.  Of course Bo said that it was Chicken's lack of strength that caused all of that to happen. 

After trying a variety of combinations of canoe sharing, we ended up having Bo & Broham share a canoe and Chicken & Lishes share another.

Chicken & Lishes were a great team and lead the way down the river.  Broham managed to keep a smile on his face but Bo kept managing to get them off course and stuck on sandbars.

But when we stopped on a sandbar to eat a picnic lunch, catch frogs, and watch the other canoes glide down the river, we both stopped our arguments and just took everything in.  Despite the fact that we knew we were going to head back to camp smelly (due to our lack of showers), having to use latrines, and covered in river mud: everything was perfect, absolutely perfect.

Cooking on a Campfire

Mmmmm. . .there's nothing better than food cooked on a campfire.  For our first camping trip we stuck to the basics for our campfire meals: hamburgers, hotdogs, smores, . . .

. . . and macaroni and cheese.   After Bo spent spent 2 weeks pouring over campfire gourmet cookbooks at the library, she realized that theoretically you could cook anything you cook in a regular kitchen over a campfire.  So her goal, and quickly everyone else's goal, became the creation of campfire macaroni and cheese. 

It wasn't hard to do at all.  The handling of the pot when we poured out the excess boiling water was a bit tricky, but the results were worth it.

Q & A With Broham, Lishes, Bo, & Chicken

What was your favorite part of this camping experience? 
Lishes: Eating lunch on the sandbar during the canoe trip and dipping my toes in the water. 
Broham: Canoeing, it was a good work out and fun at the same time.
Bo: Campfire macaroni and cheese!
Chicken: The midnight nature hike!

What was the worst part?
Broham: When the battery died on my dad's car- but it was good because neighboring campers came to rescue.
Bo: I'd like to add the neighboring campers as another one of my camping favorites!
Lishes: Sleeping in a hot tent- felt gross & sticky, poor air circulation in the tent.  YUCK!
Chicken: The "bathrooms" and having to wash myself with a bucket and a rag.
Bo: The bathrooms and watching Chicken wash herself with a bucket and a rag.

Spending a weekend with someone in such close proximity you learn some interesting things about people.  What was the most interesting thing you learned about somebody on this trip?

Lishes: I learned that my husband has no qualms about peeing in the woods. I also learned that I'm more than willing to lean against a tree and pee rather than use the latrines.

Broham: I learned what kind of underwear Chicken wears.

Chicken: I learned that Bo & Lishes are both early to bed and late to rise.
I also learned that people find it irritating when you sing Just Around the River Bend (from Pocahontas) every time you canoe around a river bend.
Bo:Yeah, and there was like 20 river bends Chicken. The only thing waiting around every river bend was another river bend.

Bo: I learned that I really like canoeing but I'll need to start kayaking because no one will ever canoe with me again.  I also learned that I'm really lucky to have Lishes, Broham and Chicken in my life.  Oh, and that I really really appreciate modern restroom facilities.