There were many shenanigans during this week long storm that turned yards into ice skating rinks and porches into freezers; but what more could you expect to happen when people were trapped in their houses for an entire week!
*The following was an actual phone conversation between Bo and Chicken. *
Chicken: Hello.
Bo: Hey Chicken I need your help.
Chicken: Sure.
Bo: You put salt on ice to melt it, right?
Chicken: . . .right?
Bo: Well, do you think iodized salt would do the same thing?
Chicken: Iodized salt. . . w-what a minute isn't that. . .
Bo: Table salt. It's table salt. I don't have any salt for ice and it's to dangerous to drive anywhere; but table salt would do the same thing right? The same thing as ice salt? Salt is salt right?
Chicken: . . . . . . . . .
Bo: You don't think it will kill the grass do you?
Chicken: W-w-what do you mean, "kill the grass?" Did you already use it!?!?
Bo: Yeah. It made a lot of cracking noises but it's not made the ice any easier to break up.
Chicken: You used table salt?
Bo: Yeah.
Chicken: On the ice?
Bo: Yeah.
Chicken: . . . . . . Okay. I'm almost afraid to ask this, but how much salt did you use?
Bo: Both the salt shakers and the new canister from the Lazy Susan.
Chicken: . . . . . . . . .
Bo: So, do you think it'll kill the grass when the ice melts?
The phone conversation just went downhill from there and it was made even worse (or better depending on how you look at it) on Saturday when the family came over for dinner and we had to explain multiple times why there wasn't a single grain of salt in the house and why Bo's dog kept licking the driveway.
Chickens On Ice
*It's important to this story to note that a religious institution was recently built to the north of Bo's house.*
Bo's chickens are all pampered, very much loved, and have names. Aramis (aka Ara) is the flock escape artist. During the Snowpocalypse the gate to the chicken pen was frozen open a few inches and Ara was quick to take advantage of the gap.
One morning Bo went out to tend the chickens with her dog Rosie. Ara was so excited she couldn't wait and escaped through the gap; heading toward Bo. That would have been fine except for the fact that there was about 7 inches of very slick ice covering the ground; so Ara was soon sliding across it. Rosie saw the ice skating chicken and tried to catch her; only to begin sliding herself, and Bo was soon to follow suite.
A combination of chicken noises, Rosie's honks (because unlike normal dogs she sounds like a goose), and Bo shouting, "Ara get back here! Rosie stop it!" filled the early morning air.
After a 10 minute presentation of Chickens on Ice, Bo finally slid, fell, and caught the escaped chicken.
*Remember the side note from earlier? Here's where it becomes important.*
As Bo clasped the chicken and attempted to stand shouting, "Ara, what do you think you were doing?" she realized she had an audience.
There were three men attempting to break the ice up in the religious institution's parking lot who had frozen in mid-chop to watch the show.
Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
Chicken was inspired during the Snowpocalypse to build a snow replica of her dog Max. She literally spent hours building a SnowMax, with small breaks every so often to prevent hypothermia and frostbite.
After the creation of her masterpiece, Chicken brought Max out to meet SnowMax! Despite Chicken's enthusiasm Max was less than pleased.
He knocked Snow-Max's head off and . . .well. . .we'll just let the picture speak for itself.
To Quote Frosty The Snowman: "Happy Birthday!"
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