Netscape Navigator & Other Failed Ideas

As philosophers of life, we come up with some really good ideas. 

We're not saying they're ALL winners.  

In fact;

if we look back on them out of context- 

most of them don't even make sense.

That being said. . . drum roll please!

Here are Bo & Chicken's

Ten Failed Ideas & Other Stuff

10. Taking 18 months to figure out what our 10 failed ideas were.

9. Chicken eating Arby's while watching the 'Biggest Looser.  '  

    "I could totally do that if I wanted to."

8. Bo loosing her GPS in her house.

    "If only I had a GPS to find it. . ."

    After finally finding it, 

    she lost it again mere days later in her car's glove box.

    "Hey, it's a big glove box!"

7. Trying to recreate the movie Snow Dogs using Kenji, Chicken's dog,

     to pull  her in a sled down an ice covered hill.

    "It is important to note that what is possible in movies

     is not possible in REAL life."

6.  We missed the rapture (May 21, 2011). . .Darn it!

      And the Apocalypse (December 21, 2012) . . . Oopsie daisy!

5. Chicken spending hours to build a Snow Max,

     only for the real Max to knock it down and pee on it.

"But it's the sign of peace & goodwill, ma!"

4. Bo & Chicken spending an hour on the phone

   debating weather 10 or 1 would be the least or most failed idea.

   "Epic Fail."

3. Bo using table salt to clear ice from the driveway.

   "By the way, for future reference- it didn't work."

2.  Bo planting 2 rows of zucchini- only to find out that

     she has a SEVERE allergy to the plant's leaves.

     "Live, Learn, and Buy Benadryl."

1. Planning an epic summer vacation only for Chicken to realize. . .
"OMG, I'm going to be stuck in a car with Bo for how many days!?!"

Bo: For me it's a win-win!  I wonder how many new songs I can learn before then.
Chicken: I'm going to need a vacation to get over this vacation.

Bloggin' Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away . . .

No, seriously. 

For reals!

Once upon a time, in my living room last Tuesday. . .Chicken and I were looking through the mountain of VHS tapes given to her by our parents.


Our hopes were to sort them, label them, and hopefully get the good ones transferred to DVD.  After looking at them I learned a great many things, some of which include...

1.  My mom looked AWESOME after having 4 kids.  Seriously, where did I get my figure from?  She was like a string bean after 4 kids and I am like a pear of generous proportions after 0 children.

2. We had chipmunk-like voices until we were 10.  I'm sorry mom & dad, I don't know how you dealt with us.

3.  We had c-r-a-z-y imaginations, due to such our Barbie's lives were about as complicated as a soap opera.

4. My grandpa was the only Santa I would talk to or be around without crying.

5. Lishes & Ashes, you guys are hilarious as adults and you had your amazing sense of humor even as children.  Also, you guys were insane when it came to opening Christmas presents.

6. The 'Good Ol' Days' were actually AWESOME in my family.  There is nothing better than seeing a house full of realatives laughing and carrying on!  I love my family!

I think I need to repeat number 2 again. When I hear those chipmunk-like voices I simply shudder.  All four of us did and we had them until we were about ten.  Taking into account the 2 year gap between us age wise; that means our parents had to listen to nonstop chipmunk voices for about 14 years.  It's a wonder they made it out of that time period sane.

Mom: Who says we did? (single eyebrow raised)

We were entertaining kids, always moving and running and playing a mile a minute.  There was simply no stop to our shenanigans.  Honestly, I wish I had bottled up some of that energy; because there are some mornings when I turn off my alarm clock at 5 a.m. that I could REALLY use it.

Another thing about these videos, they are very quotable; so that's exactly what I'll do- quote them!   Without further ado, here are just some of the memorable quotes so far.

Oh, and feel free to laugh; because kids say the darnedest things!
                                                                                *
Lishes: (quietly) Mommy what is this?
Mom: Nail polish.
Lishes: (screaming) MOMMMY LOOOK AT WHAT I GOT... NAIL POLISH!!!!!
                                                                                *
Lishes: Come on we're playing the X Games!
Bo: The X Games?
Lishes: Yeah, the extra X stands for extreme!
                                                                                *
While playing with a pink Barbie Corvette...
Ashes: Oh, yeah!  It's got 4-wheel drive, vrrrrrr-vrrrr-VROOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
                                                                                *
Lishes: Amber which one do you think is healthier, Pepsi or Root Beer?
Bo: Pepsi.
Lishes: Well your opinion doesn't matter.  Oh my gosh!  Root Beer has 75 milligrams of sodium and Pepsi only has 35!
                                                                                *
Ashes: Mommy, why did that plane crash in the water?
Mom: What!?! That's just a log.
                                                                                *
Lishes: (Panning camera around backyard) It's a beautiful day(insert Homer Simpson like BURP! here.)
                                                                                *
Lishes describing how to use the buttons on the video camera...
Chicken: The picture is too close.
Lishes: You hit the top button to make it like it's coming after you and you hit the bottom button to make it like it's coming after you.
                                                                                *
Chicken playing with toys in a kiddie pool. . .
Ken: HELP!  HELP!  I'm drowning!!
Boy: My dog!  Lady save my dog!
Barbie: Don't worry, I'll help you!
Boy: Thanks lady.
Chicken: Next week on Pool Watch. . .  Will Barbie save the boy's dog again?  And will anyone notice that Ken is still drowning?
Ken: HELP! HELP!  I'm still drowning!!
                                                                                *
After we all sang a rousing rendition of the Gilligan's Island theme song including important details like 3 people setting sail from a carpet port. . .
Lishes: In this episode. . . Gilligan's dead!
Bo: And the professor is running away!!
Lishes: That's dumb Amber.  And now let's go inside Ashes's mouth- ahhhhh!
                                                                                *
Chicken: (making the voice for Ken dressed up as a police officer): YMCA!  Woo hoo!
Bo: Well, you can go pick a prize, but they're all girl prizes.
Chicken: You're trying to make me mad, aren't you Amber?
                                                                                *
Bo: (in a monotone voice) Hey, we're going to Pizza Hut for dinner.
Lishes: Stop lying to me Amber.
Bo: (louder & with more feeling) I'm not lying!  We're going to Pizza Hut for dinner!
Lishes: Yeah right.
Bo: (totally put out) I'm serious.
Lishes: Really?!? Me? At the REAL Pizza Hut?  Eating Pizza. . . for REAL?!?!
                                                                                *
While playing with Barbie & Ken in our kiddie pool...
Lishes: He was drowning in the water and then he caught her hair and then as soon as he got out of the water. . . BOOOOM!! Landmine.
                                                                                *
All of us: Dun-na-na-na!  Dun-na-na-na-na! Dun-na-na-na-na!
Ashes: Tonight on 60 seconds. . .Which came first. . . the chicken or the egg?  The secret revealed.
Hiding Behind a Beach Towel: (Voice of Ashes) Attention everyone!  Turn on your TVs!  The secret of life is. . .
Lishes: We interrupt this other special announcement with another special announcement!
Ashes: We interrupt your special program with an announcement that's even special-er!   People in California have just discovered peanuts!
                                                                                *

Chicken: Wow. Crazy, the lot of us.
Bo: What?!?
Chicken: Don't try to hide it; I know that's what you were thinking.
Bo: But we're not, crazy that is; what we were was imaginative.  We used our imagination and spent about 80% of the daytime hours outside playing; with adult supervision of course.

Seeing kids today with their eyes glued to their cell phones make us have even more fond memories of the good ole' days.

Harry Blogger

It's Harry Freaking Potter!

He's a superstar world wide!  Everyone has heard of him and his amazing magical adventures!

Now with all 7 books out (9 if you include: The Tales of Beadle the Bard, Qudditch throughout the ages, and Mythical Beasts and Where to Find Them) plus all 8 movies out on DVD, we thought you would enjoy this.  

A blog about what we think, feel, and summaries of the Harry Potter Series 
by people who loved watching the movies, 
who've read the books, 
and some people who've not done any of those things.

Yes, my dear friends, it's time for Harry Blogger!

WARNING: SPOILERS (May Be) AHEAD!!

Lishes

Read the books: Yeah

Watched the movies: No I didn't watch all of them I think I stopped at the phoenix one.

Bo: Please summarize the Harry Potter Series

Lishes: Okay, so it's all about this kid Harry.
He’s a mudblood muggle part human part something-er-other kid.
He thinks he is a normal kid,
but then WHAM!
He gets hit with a letter and finds out he's not normal at all!

My favorite part is when Hagrid comes in and says, "You’re a Wizard Harry."

Hagrid takes Harry to Hogwarts where he learns how to become a wizard.
Harry’s going through the motions and he’s a pretty terrible wizard.

Harry's good at playing Quidditch; which is kind of like lacrosse but with a gold ball.
He’s a seeker, so he does that- seek things.
He makes friends.
He likes some girl in Raven Claw and he’s fights bad guys.
Oh, and a basilisk.  He fights a basilisk.

It ends with him having a showdown where a bunch of people die, but he wins.

I think one of the Weasley kids dies, but Harry lives.
The owl dies too!
Why?!?!
I think his name his name is Hadwig?  Yeah, Hadwig the owl.
But, why did they have to kill his owl?
I mean what could he really do to anyone- hoot at them?

Bo: Can you name a magic spell used in the series?

Lishes: Avada Cadabra- it's the one the kills people.  Plus. there's Infect-o Patronus- it summons their spirit animal and it eats dementors.

Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Lishes: Sorcerer and the Stone, Goblet of Fire, Prisoner of Azkaban, Deathly Hallows

Bo: What are the 3 Deathly Hallows?

Lishes: The Sword of Griffendor, a compass, and the sorting hat.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it a 7 because I didn't see all the movies, but the ones I saw were all well done.

Mom

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yeah because you kids all liked them.

Bo: Please summarize the Harry Potter Series
Mom: Harry's just an orphan kid that lives with a relative and he has magic powers.
They go to Griffendor School and he meets other witches.  Then they team up and try to beat the heck out of the mean ones.

Then they win The Magic and they beat the mean ones.

Bo: Can you name a magic spell used in the series?
Mom: Magic!
Bo: What does that spell do?
Mom: It does magic.
Bo: Magic?
Mom: Magically.

Bo: Who is Voldemort?
Mom: Voldemort is a teacher who dies in the movie.  This is an important part and it makes a lot of people really sad.  I'm pretty sure you cried at that part.
Bo: No I didn't!
Chicken: Give it up Bo, you know you cried when VOLDEMORT died. (Smothered Giggles)

Bo: Who are Hermione and Ron?
Mom: Hermione is the girl witch.  Ron is a boy witch.

Bo: What are the 3 Deathly Hallows?
Mom: A broom, a ring, and I have no idea what a triangle would be.
           Oh, wait, is it a dust pan?

Bo:  Can you name any of the books?
Mom: Yeah, there's Harry Potter and then there's Brick and Brimstone.  Those are the only two I know.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 2.

Ashes

Read the books: Read the first 3 books and then I got bored.

Watched ALL the movies: You'd better believe it!

Bo: Please summarize the Harry Potter Series.

Ashes: A little boy living under the stairs has a scar on his head.  He is pretty much Loser City until Hagrid comes and says, "You're a wizard Harry!" 

Harry is all like, "Yeah, I totally know, cause I can talk to snakes.  But seriously I'm living under some stairs, so do something about that.  Like now."

Then Harry gets whisked away on some magical train ride to the even more magical school of Hogwards Wizardry and Witchcraft school.

Harry only gets through school by riding on the coattails of his parents fame and his wicked cool head scar.

Seriously though, his parents were like uber famous and were the best of everything; makes you think that Harry could have been adopted.

Professor Snape reminds me of a hippie and Chicken does an awesome impression of him.

Harry's a pretty terrible wizard.  A really terrible wizard.  He lets his friends fight most of his battles and think for him.  At the end, Harry dies and then he comes back to life to kill Voldemort.  He he marries the ginger girl.

The end goes pretty much like this...
Harry sacrifices himself.
Hagrid cries.
And Hermione and Ron get together.

Bo: Can you name a magic spell used in the series?
Ashes: Luminous.
Bo: What does it do?
Ashes: Makes things full all shiny and. . . Shine bright like a diamond!

Bo: Can you name the 3 Deathly Hallows?
Ashes: A wand, the time-y thing that Hermione had, it's the fang of the snake

Bo: Can you name the 4 houses?
Ashes: Slitherin, Hufflepuff, Griffendor,
Bo: Need a hint?  Cuh-Caw!  Cuh-Caw!
Ashes: I already said Griffendor! (Pause) Oh and Raven Claw  I knew it was a bird

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high):  I give it 2 wands and a Quidditch.

Broham

Read the books: no

Watched the movies: Only first 4 movies

Bo: Please summarize the Harry Potter Series

Broham: Harry lives with his abusive aunt and uncle in a cupboard until Hagrid comes and tells him he's a wizard.  When he goes to school he meets ginger Ron and Hermione.

They both fall in love with Hermione and fight over her.

They have to find the Sorcerer's Stone to stop Voldemort.
Harry finds the stone because... he’s Harry Potter!

His second movie I don’t remember.

In the third one he finds out about Sirius Black- his uncle.  Sirius escapes from prison and he was falsely accused of his crimes.  Harry and his friend end up getting the map that shows feet.

It ends up that ginger Ron's rat is actually a bad guy and not a rat.
Well he’s still a rat, but not a literal rat anymore.
He's the one that turned Harry’s parents into Voldemort.

They find out that Professor Lupin is a werewolf and Sirius Black fights him in werewolf form.  There’s something going on with Malfoy's dad too.  He’s trying to get Harry kicked out of school for some reason.

Then they have a tournament of champion wizards, and thanks to one of Voldemort's minions Harry has to compete in it.  I think the minion was the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.   

Harry gets in with the the dude from Hufflepuff Robert Pattison, but their friendship doesn't last because Pattison gets killed by the death spell.  The Goblet of Fire was something that transports them places  because it’s not a goblet it’s. . . whatever they call it.

At some point, Dumbledoor dies and Harry and his friends drop out of school to form the Order of the Phoenix.  They form the Order because the school can’t protect them forever.

While they are out of school, they search for the Horcruxes and they know that Voldemort’s alive because of them.  Harry’s following some cryptic clues that Dumbledore gave him before he dies.

Bo: How does the series end?

Broham: One of the Weasley twins dies, Harry ends up with Jenny, and Ron ends up with Hermione.  It's a happy ending, except for all the people that die.

Bo: Can you name a magic spell used in the series?

Broham: Expect-o Patronus! It's used to light up his wand.

Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Broham: Sorcerer and the Stone, Goblet of Fire, Prisoner of Azcaban, Deathly Hallows

Bo: Can you name the 3 Deathly Hallows?

Broham: The wand, shield, hat.
Bo: Do you know what the name of the shield is?
Broham: I didn't know there really was a shield, I was totally guessing.
               I guess it would be called the Shield of Magic.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give them a 6 or 7.

Dad 

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: The ones you kids watched at the house

Bo: Please summarize the Harry Potter Series
Dad: Harry Potter is some kind of special kid.  Something happened in his past and his mom and dad were some kind of witch.  He's the one that was suppose to take on the bad guy I guess.  That's all I know and it's a guess-ta-mation.

Bo: Can you name a magic spell used in the series?
Dad: Presto Chang-o!
Bo: What does that spell do?
Dad: It changes things into Pesto?
Bo: Nice one dad.

Bo: Who is Voldemort?
Dad:I think he's the bad guy.  He sounds like a bad guy because of his name.  I mean you really can't be the hero with a name like Voldemort.  I think his parents set him up for failure, it's sad really.

Bo: Who is Hermione?
Dad: That's Harry's girlfriend.
Bo: Who's Ron?
Dad: The red head? Isn't he the red headed guy?

Bo: Can you name the 3 Deathly Hallows?
Dad: Harry's wand, a ring, and a triangle.
Bo: A triangle? Like the shape?
Dad: No, you know the thing you play. The instrument triangle.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 6.


Looking for more magic, memories, and laughs?

Flash back. . . years ago when Chicken and I had another amazing Harry Potter adventure in Midnight Movie Madness!
Click below to continue the Harry Potter adventure!
Midnight Movie Madness!

Snow-pocalypse 2014

I'm an eternal optimist, and I think I do a pretty good job of planning ahead; but winter came in like a. . . like a. . . like snow leopard this year.
Chicken: Come on you gotta come up with something better than that.
Bo: What about a snowpocalypse?
Chicken: Much better!

Anyway, you have times when you get absolutely no warning what so ever about inclement weather.

Then you have times when they act like the end of the world is here and . . .

. . .it actually turns out to be just a dreary day.

But this year, we were warned about a week in advance for the worst snow and coldest temperatures that the state had seen in 20 years.

Now, I'm 30 years old and I remember most of that time; so when they start announcing things like that "coldest temp.s in 20 years" and all that, well, I got kind of nervous.

Let me start out by saying that I love the winter.

Yes, I'm trying to break up the ice with a hoe.

No, seriously; as long as it's not snowing, I love the winter.  I have asthma, that is brought on by severe allergies; so when the temperatures drop below 32 most of the things I'm allergic to are either dead or not just not blooming.

Chicken and I made a plan of attack.  We knew we'd be trapped indoors for at least 2 days, so Chicken made a list.  She is very much a List Person.

I on the other hand am more of a, well, not a List Person.

This has been the cause of many a quarrel, . . .

but not this time!  We knew we were going to be snowed in, and by golly- we were going to be the most prepared of everyone!

The bad weather was predicted to come in late Saturday evening, so we did all our shopping on Thursday and Friday.  We had plenty of food, soda, wood burning pellets, ice melt, and other assorted supplies.
Then it happened.  Chicken got a fever of 103 and the doctor diagnosed her with the flu.

And I hadn't got my flu shot this year.

So here are a few pictures of the beautiful snow we got to see in winter 2014.

Outside it was beautiful!  Inside the house is was kind of like a sick-ward.

Look at how beautiful the snow is!  

Trust me you do not want to see what happens when 2 adult, who are horrible sick people, 

both end up for the flu (the real FLU bug) for the first time and are stuck inside a house for 2 days.

I honestly think our family was thrilled they didn't get to be apart of this magical time either.

Awww, look at how cute the dogs are.  

They are so much better than trashcans full of tissues and a counter full of flu meds.

Yes, we try to block out the 2014 snow-pocalyse because despite the beauty outside,
it was pretty miserable inside.

But why are we talking about that, it's 2016 now- oh yeah!

Sorry it took so long to get this post up, but important things. . . like life. . . happened.  

It really didn't take us 2 years to dig ourselves out of the 2014 snow-pocaypse, but you're going to wish it did. . .

That's right!  

Bo & Chicken are back and more determined than ever to keep up this blog.

Will we be successful?

Probably not, but we are going to try anyway!

Chicken: I give it 3 months tops.

Bo: As an eternal optimist, I say we can keep this up for 3 months and 1 day.  Hang-on, why do I smell burning plastic?

Chicken: Dinner's done!

Bo: It's going to be a long 3 months. . .