Once upon a time, in a land not so far away . . .
No, seriously.
For reals!
Once upon a time, in my living room last Tuesday. . .Chicken and I were looking through the mountain of VHS tapes given to her by our parents.
Our hopes were to sort them, label them, and hopefully get the good ones transferred to DVD. After looking at them I learned a great many things, some of which include...
1. My mom looked AWESOME after having 4 kids. Seriously, where did I get my figure from? She was like a string bean after 4 kids and I am like a pear of generous proportions after 0 children.
2. We had chipmunk-like voices until we were 10. I'm sorry mom & dad, I don't know how you dealt with us.
3. We had c-r-a-z-y imaginations, due to such our Barbie's lives were about as complicated as a soap opera.
4. My grandpa was the only Santa I would talk to or be around without crying.
5. Lishes & Ashes, you guys are hilarious as adults and you had your amazing sense of humor even as children. Also, you guys were insane when it came to opening Christmas presents.
I think I need to repeat number 2 again. When I hear those chipmunk-like voices I simply shudder. All four of us did and we had them until we were about ten. Taking into account the 2 year gap between us age wise; that means our parents had to listen to nonstop chipmunk voices for about 14 years. It's a wonder they made it out of that time period sane.
Mom: Who says we did? (single eyebrow raised)
We were entertaining kids, always moving and running and playing a mile a minute. There was simply no stop to our shenanigans. Honestly, I wish I had bottled up some of that energy; because there are some mornings when I turn off my alarm clock at 5 a.m. that I could REALLY use it.
Oh, and feel free to laugh; because kids say the darnedest things!
*
Lishes: (quietly) Mommy what is this?
Mom: Nail polish.
Lishes: (screaming) MOMMMY LOOOK AT WHAT I GOT... NAIL POLISH!!!!!
*
Lishes: Come on we're playing the X Games!
Bo: The X Games?
Lishes: Yeah, the extra X stands for extreme!
*
While playing with a pink Barbie Corvette...
Ashes: Oh, yeah! It's got 4-wheel drive, vrrrrrr-vrrrr-VROOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
*
Lishes: Amber which one do you think is healthier, Pepsi or Root Beer?
Bo: Pepsi.
Lishes: Well your opinion doesn't matter. Oh my gosh! Root Beer has 75 milligrams of sodium and Pepsi only has 35!
*
Ashes: Mommy, why did that plane crash in the water?
Mom: What!?! That's just a log.
*
Lishes: (Panning camera around backyard) It's a beautiful day(insert Homer Simpson like BURP! here.)
*
Lishes describing how to use the buttons on the video camera...
Chicken: The picture is too close.
Lishes: You hit the top button to make it like it's coming after you and you hit the bottom button to make it like it's coming after you.
*
Chicken playing with toys in a kiddie pool. . .
Ken: HELP! HELP! I'm drowning!!
Boy: My dog! Lady save my dog!
Barbie: Don't worry, I'll help you!
Boy: Thanks lady.
Chicken: Next week on Pool Watch. . . Will Barbie save the boy's dog again? And will anyone notice that Ken is still drowning?
Ken: HELP! HELP! I'm still drowning!!
*
After we all sang a rousing rendition of the Gilligan's Island theme song including important details like 3 people setting sail from a carpet port. . .
Lishes: In this episode. . . Gilligan's dead!
Bo: And the professor is running away!!
Lishes: That's dumb Amber. And now let's go inside Ashes's mouth- ahhhhh!
*
Chicken: (making the voice for Ken dressed up as a police officer): YMCA! Woo hoo!
Bo: Well, you can go pick a prize, but they're all girl prizes.
Chicken: You're trying to make me mad, aren't you Amber?
*
Bo: (in a monotone voice) Hey, we're going to Pizza Hut for dinner.
Lishes: Stop lying to me Amber.
Bo: (louder & with more feeling) I'm not lying! We're going to Pizza Hut for dinner!
Lishes: Yeah right.
Bo: (totally put out) I'm serious.
Lishes: Really?!? Me? At the REAL Pizza Hut? Eating Pizza. . . for REAL?!?!
*
While playing with Barbie & Ken in our kiddie pool...
Lishes: He was drowning in the water and then he caught her hair and then as soon as he got out of the water. . . BOOOOM!! Landmine.
*
All of us: Dun-na-na-na! Dun-na-na-na-na! Dun-na-na-na-na!
Ashes: Tonight on 60 seconds. . .Which came first. . . the chicken or the egg? The secret revealed.
Hiding Behind a Beach Towel: (Voice of Ashes) Attention everyone! Turn on your TVs! The secret of life is. . .
Lishes: We interrupt this other special announcement with another special announcement!
Ashes: We interrupt your special program with an announcement that's even special-er! People in California have just discovered peanuts!
*
Chicken: Wow. Crazy, the lot of us.
Bo: What?!?
Chicken: Don't try to hide it; I know that's what you were thinking.
Bo: But we're not, crazy that is; what we were was imaginative. We used our imagination and spent about 80% of the daytime hours outside playing; with adult supervision of course.
Seeing kids today with their eyes glued to their cell phones make us have even more fond memories of the good ole' days.
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