About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Chicken was a vampire.
Chicken: No I'm not!
Second, there was a part of her- and I didn't know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for an ice cold Diet Coke.
Chicken: Okay, that might be true.
And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her dogs.
Now with all 5 movies out on DVD, I thought you would enjoy this. A blog about what we think, feel, and summaries of the Twilight series by people who love it, who've read it, and some people who've not done any of those things.
Yes, my dear friends, it's time for Daylight: A New Blog!
Chicken: No I'm not!
Second, there was a part of her- and I didn't know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for an ice cold Diet Coke.
Chicken: Okay, that might be true.
And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her dogs.
Yes, my dear friends, it's time for Daylight: A New Blog!
WARNING: SPOILERS (May Be) AHEAD!!
Ashes
Bo: Please summarize the Twilight Series.
Ashes: (Heavy Sigh) I'm only doing this because you're my sister. I'm not a Twilight fan...at all. Basically the story line is like this...
Teen angst and
fast developing vampire
babies,
teen angst,
being depressed,
falling in love with something
that doesn't exist in real life.
Some decrepit ol' dude falling for a high school-er,
he should be in jail and serving a life sentence.
Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
Ashes: Okay, there's...
Bella- she’s the angst-y teen with no emotion who has a baby in like 2 days- yeah right.
Jacob- the American Indian were-dog
Edmand- is the million year old vampire that sparkles like
diamonds
Shine bright like a diamond!
You know like the Rhianna song.
Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd
give it a negative 10.
Lishes
Bo: Please summarize the Twilight
Series.
Lishes: There’s a girl named Bella and she meets a vampire named Edward. He’s a good vampire. She gets pregnant they
have a demon baby. In the end Bella and Edward may or may not get married. People say they cry at the last one, so it must have been touching.
Then they make two teams: Team Edward and Team Jacob; and apparently they fight over multiple movies.
Bo: Which team do you side with?
Lishes: I side with Team Credits because then the movie would be over.
Then they make two teams: Team Edward and Team Jacob; and apparently they fight over multiple movies.
Lishes: I side with Team Credits because then the movie would be over.
Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
Lishes: Sure...
Bella-antaganist a human nothing special about her. I don’t think
she has a last name
Edward- has weird eyes and he’s a vampire. He has glowing glittery skin. He might be king
of the vampires, but I don’t know his exact ranking.
Jacob- is a shirtless were wolf
Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it a 1
because I don’t like Kristin Stewart, she has literally 2 expressions. After her cheating on Edwin and the 2 expressions thing- I've lost all respect for her.
Broham
Bo: Please summarize the Twilight
Series.
Broham: Human chick likes to be dominated by Edward who's a vampire. It's like
50 Shades of Gray was Twilight fan fiction, you see where I'm going with this?
Bella falls in love with Edward, and I don’t why, but she’s
conflicted when she sees Jacob shirtless all the time.
Edward punches a car with his fist and it imploded.
He sparkles and dies if he walks in sunlight.
He sparkles and dies if he walks in sunlight.
Then she loves Edward and Jacob, but she remembers that whole 50 Shades thing and goes back with Edward.
Then at one time she starts to die, so Edward saves her and she
gets pregnant.
Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
Broham: Sure there's...
Bella- human chick who likes to have the camera pan around her in slow
motion
Edward- Robert Pattinson has a weird hair-do
Jacob- is a werewolf and there's more of them but they're not important enough for names
Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it a 0 because I can't give it anything lower than that.
Mom: Wait, do you mean the vampires or the perfume?
Bo: The vampires, mom.
Mom: Okay, in the first movie, it looks like one of these kids is a vampire and one's not. The boy with no name is the vampire. They go to a restaurant and eat.
Bo: How do you know he's a vampire?
Mom: Because he said he was cold and doesn't eat. Except he must be full of blood you know, 'cause he's a vampire.
In the second one, Bell was going to a birthday for some other vampires. When Bell cut her finger on a present, a younger vampire attacked her and the Boy With No Name saved her. Well he didn't really save her, he pushed her into a table.
What's the deal with the close ups of red eyes?
Okay, I don't get that.
Maybe they have allergies?
Then That Vampire Boy ran in the woods and and left her so she wouldn't be harmed or something.
But some guy with dreadlocks tries to scratch her eyes out, so she really wasn't safe at all. Then The Boy Vampire turned into a wolf.
I guess he's a werewolf now.
In the third one, That Vampire Guy, also he's a werewolf too now, and That One Girl are talking again; so I'm assuming he must have went and got her out of the woods.
Bells or just Bell for short is That Girl's name. Some other guy, I assume he's not a vampire, likes Bell too. He told That Vampire Boy he might be better for Bell than he is. Which makes sense because That Vampire Guy is a vampire-werewolf so he can't be stable; plus he dropped Bell in the middle of a woods during the last movie.
Then some red headed chick flew from a rock and through the air and gave Bell a snide look. She looks like a vampire, they all just seem to fly around in this movie. Up trees, over trees, and through the air; I didn't know vampires flew like that now-a-days.
The last one actually has 2 parts, uhhhhh. OH, Bell turned into a vampire! Well, it only took them what, 4...5 movies?
No Name Boy and Bell have a baby. Apparently the head vampires did not approve because it is a mortal baby. Then some lady dropped a flower vase on the floor.
Dad: Sounds like a good movie.
Mom: Then Bell, who's now a vampire somehow, said she would protect that baby.
Anyway, then a bunch of vampires want to kill Bell because she's not as cool a vampire as them.
Bo: How does it end?
Mom: Well, I'm assuming Bell doesn't die, gets turned into a vampire, gets married to That Vampire Guy, and she ends up living all happily ever after with That Vampire Guy and that little baby.
Mom
Bo: Could you summarize the Twilight series?Mom: Wait, do you mean the vampires or the perfume?
Bo: The vampires, mom.
Mom: Okay, in the first movie, it looks like one of these kids is a vampire and one's not. The boy with no name is the vampire. They go to a restaurant and eat.
Mom: Because he said he was cold and doesn't eat. Except he must be full of blood you know, 'cause he's a vampire.
In the second one, Bell was going to a birthday for some other vampires. When Bell cut her finger on a present, a younger vampire attacked her and the Boy With No Name saved her. Well he didn't really save her, he pushed her into a table.
What's the deal with the close ups of red eyes?
Okay, I don't get that.
Maybe they have allergies?
I guess he's a werewolf now.
Bells or just Bell for short is That Girl's name. Some other guy, I assume he's not a vampire, likes Bell too. He told That Vampire Boy he might be better for Bell than he is. Which makes sense because That Vampire Guy is a vampire-werewolf so he can't be stable; plus he dropped Bell in the middle of a woods during the last movie.
Then some red headed chick flew from a rock and through the air and gave Bell a snide look. She looks like a vampire, they all just seem to fly around in this movie. Up trees, over trees, and through the air; I didn't know vampires flew like that now-a-days.
The last one actually has 2 parts, uhhhhh. OH, Bell turned into a vampire! Well, it only took them what, 4...5 movies?
No Name Boy and Bell have a baby. Apparently the head vampires did not approve because it is a mortal baby. Then some lady dropped a flower vase on the floor.
Dad: Sounds like a good movie.
Anyway, then a bunch of vampires want to kill Bell because she's not as cool a vampire as them.
Mom: Well, I'm assuming Bell doesn't die, gets turned into a vampire, gets married to That Vampire Guy, and she ends up living all happily ever after with That Vampire Guy and that little baby.
Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
Mom: I don't remember many of the names, but I'll try. Here I go...
Bell- the girl who's not a vampire yet, she needs to be protected by That Vampire Guy for some reason
No Name Guy- the boy vampire, he wants to protect Bell the non-vampire girl
Boyfriend That's Not a Vampire- He's much cuter than That Vampire Guy and he didn't leave her in a woods
That Little Baby Vampire-It's a girl!
Mom: I don't remember many of the names, but I'll try. Here I go...
Bell- the girl who's not a vampire yet, she needs to be protected by That Vampire Guy for some reason
No Name Guy- the boy vampire, he wants to protect Bell the non-vampire girl
Boyfriend That's Not a Vampire- He's much cuter than That Vampire Guy and he didn't leave her in a woods
That Little Baby Vampire-It's a girl!
Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): 5 to me it's just, you know it's for a younger age
Dad: Okay, in Twilight: There's some vampire that falls for some regular human being girl. She's seems normal but she's got some kind of breathing problem. (Pause) Maybe asthma.
Bo: Why do think she has asthma?
Dad: Because she always seems to have her mouth open, like she is having trouble breathing. Somebody needs to hand that girl an inhaler.
The Vampire Boy seemed to care for her and he saved her life when a van tried to kill her.
The vampires have a lot of special powers too. Vampire Boy has super strength, he can jump...forever.
There's some kind of struggles with some vampires or person or werewolf. The police said some guy got tore up, so I think the vampires are up against a bunch of werewolves. Werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies, so that makes sense.
Dad: In New Moon, they were having a party and The Girl cut her finger and some guy went nuclear.
So I take it there's always "Others" watching them. Unless The Boy's some sort of special vampire and they are trying to get to him.
The Vampire Guy left her in the woods, which was really stupid.
But then things turn out okay because some new guy is protecting her which is good.
But then you find out that he's a werewolf which is not so good.
Then there are some more guys with red eyes who look angry. I think they're either mad at The Vampire Guy for leaving That Girl alone in the woods or they are mad at him because of all his super powers.
The Vampire Guy left to keep That Girl safe and keep her from getting killed, but it looked like it happened anyway. Then it ends with a battle with some guys with red eyes and her new werewolf protector, who apparently can fly too.
Bo: He flies?
Dad: Yeah, Werewolf guy flies over That Girl when he turns into a werewolf. I didn't know werewolves could fly, I guess you learn something new everyday.
Dad: In Eclipse, man somebody had a good time when they were naming these things.
Now you got the Werewolf Guy whose in love with That Girl and the Vampire Guy whose in love with her. She kind of likes both of them, but then she realizes the one guy doesn't sparkle so she ends up with The Vampire Guy.
I think that's pretty much what it's all about, oh, and there's a Red Witch Girl too. I like it when he faced the vampire guy and said, "You've got to face it the fact that I would be better for her." He's got guts, that guy.
Dad: Apparently so much is happening they have to stretch out the last movie into two movies, Breaking Dawn Part 1 & 2.
That Girl becomes a vampire and then there are some people who don't like her becoming a vampire because there would be some kind of infection in their clan.
Then the head vampires are so worried about That Girl's Infection, they decide to start a war. It's interesting the way The Head Vampire dresses all in black with the 1800's suit.
Then the Good Guy Vampires decide they will work together, so they get the actual werewolves to help them.
Sounds interesting. Vampires and werewolves fighting together? Normally they fight each other. Then somebody had a baby and it made everybody mad. I'm not sure why, unless the baby is infected too; or maybe she has some super powers?
Bo: How do you think it ends?
Dad: Well, bunch of kids like it; so that means it has to have a happy ending. I'm guessing that the werewolves and the vampires decide to keep working together. That Girl and The Vampire Guy get together and The Werewolf Boy ends up with a werewolf girl.
Oh, and no one gets infected after all.
Dad
Bo: Could you please summarize the Twilight Series?Dad: Okay, in Twilight: There's some vampire that falls for some regular human being girl. She's seems normal but she's got some kind of breathing problem. (Pause) Maybe asthma.
Bo: Why do think she has asthma?
Dad: Because she always seems to have her mouth open, like she is having trouble breathing. Somebody needs to hand that girl an inhaler.
The Vampire Boy seemed to care for her and he saved her life when a van tried to kill her.
There's some kind of struggles with some vampires or person or werewolf. The police said some guy got tore up, so I think the vampires are up against a bunch of werewolves. Werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies, so that makes sense.
Dad: In New Moon, they were having a party and The Girl cut her finger and some guy went nuclear.
The Vampire Guy left her in the woods, which was really stupid.
But then things turn out okay because some new guy is protecting her which is good.
But then you find out that he's a werewolf which is not so good.
Then there are some more guys with red eyes who look angry. I think they're either mad at The Vampire Guy for leaving That Girl alone in the woods or they are mad at him because of all his super powers.
Bo: He flies?
Dad: Yeah, Werewolf guy flies over That Girl when he turns into a werewolf. I didn't know werewolves could fly, I guess you learn something new everyday.
Now you got the Werewolf Guy whose in love with That Girl and the Vampire Guy whose in love with her. She kind of likes both of them, but then she realizes the one guy doesn't sparkle so she ends up with The Vampire Guy.
Dad: Apparently so much is happening they have to stretch out the last movie into two movies, Breaking Dawn Part 1 & 2.
That Girl becomes a vampire and then there are some people who don't like her becoming a vampire because there would be some kind of infection in their clan.
Then the Good Guy Vampires decide they will work together, so they get the actual werewolves to help them.
Sounds interesting. Vampires and werewolves fighting together? Normally they fight each other. Then somebody had a baby and it made everybody mad. I'm not sure why, unless the baby is infected too; or maybe she has some super powers?
Dad: Well, bunch of kids like it; so that means it has to have a happy ending. I'm guessing that the werewolves and the vampires decide to keep working together. That Girl and The Vampire Guy get together and The Werewolf Boy ends up with a werewolf girl.
Oh, and no one gets infected after all.
Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
That Girl- She's a normal girl with asthma and she goes to school
Vampire Guy- He really seems to like That Girl
Werewolf Guy- Other than he seems to really like that girl I can't think of anything else about him
Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I don't know, I guess a 6. It seems like an interesting story line.
Ashes: Gee that was painful. Thank goodness I have super powers, they got me through that blog.
Bo: What if I'm not a hero. . . what if I'm. . .the bad guy.
Ashes: Is that a Twilight quote? You must love that series.
Chicken: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Ashes: That's it I'm finding my car keys and then I'm outta here!
Bo: How opposed are you to grand theft auto?
Ashes: Where are my keys?
Chicken: Stupid shiny Volvo owner.
Ashes: I don't have a Volvo I have a . . . wait, that was another Twilight quote wasn't it?
Bo & Chicken: (share sideways glances)
Ashes: AHHHHHH!!!
Bo: I think she's having hysterics, maybe you should slap her.
Chicken: Ashes I know it was rough for you, doing this blog. It's just that. . . well, we thought you'd like it, Ashes.
Ashes: Don't do that to me again. So forgive my hysterics, and I will try to be satisfied with being the superhero of the family.
Chicken: Bo, that was pretty epic. I didn't know you felt that way about the books.
Bo: No one's ever loved anything as much as I love books.
Warning!!
Twilight Quotes Ahead!!
Bo: What if I'm not a hero. . . what if I'm. . .the bad guy.
Ashes: Is that a Twilight quote? You must love that series.
Chicken: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Ashes: That's it I'm finding my car keys and then I'm outta here!
Bo: How opposed are you to grand theft auto?
Ashes: Where are my keys?
Chicken: Stupid shiny Volvo owner.
Ashes: I don't have a Volvo I have a . . . wait, that was another Twilight quote wasn't it?
Bo & Chicken: (share sideways glances)
Ashes: AHHHHHH!!!
Bo: I think she's having hysterics, maybe you should slap her.
Chicken: Ashes I know it was rough for you, doing this blog. It's just that. . . well, we thought you'd like it, Ashes.
Ashes: Don't do that to me again. So forgive my hysterics, and I will try to be satisfied with being the superhero of the family.
Chicken: Bo, that was pretty epic. I didn't know you felt that way about the books.
Bo: No one's ever loved anything as much as I love books.
Chicken: Hey Ashes! Wait up! What do you think of The Hunger Games?
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