Lord of the Blogs

Chicken is a huge Lord of the Rings fan.
I believe that she has many Middle Earth type qualities as well.
She has the height of a dwarf, the hearing of an elf, the courage of a hobbit, and the anger of Sauron.

Now with one Hobbit movie out on DVD and the other two heading to theaters in the near future, I thought you would enjoy this.  A blog about what we think, feel, and summaries of the Lord of the Rings by people who love it, who've read it, and some people who've not done any of those things.

Yes, my dear friends, it's time for The Lord of the Blogs!

Chicken and I know the answers to these questions, but these are there honest-to-goodness answers.
That being said...
WARNING: SPOILERS (May Be) AHEAD!!

Mom

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Mom: There's a bunch of little elves running around trying to get a ring.  Frodo is an elf.  Sauron is an elf too.  Gandalf is a tall elf.  I think they all want the ring.

Bo: Why do they want the ring?
Mom: The ring makes them evil.  They're trying to keep the elves from getting the ring.

Bo: What happens at the end?
Mom: One of the elves gets the ring at the end of the movie and it made him mean. Then at the very end of the movie they all die.
Bo: Who dies?
Mom: All of them.  All the elves: Gandalf, Frodo, Sardine, the one in a diaper.  All of them die.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?
Mom: The moral of the story is they all fought over the ring and they shouldn't be doing that.  You shouldn't be greedy or you will die like the elves did.

Bo: What did you think of the movies?
Mom: Yeah it's alright, it's not my favorite but it's okay.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 2 because it's just too complicated. Now Paycheck and True Lies, and the first two Pirates of the Caribbean movies: I'd recommend any of those over this one.

Ashes 

Read the books: I remember reading the Hobbit.

Watched ALL the movies: Yeah I've seen them all.

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Ashes: Okay I guess the abridged version would be they are having a celebration for Bilbo's birthday and he decides that he's going to go to Elf Island to die.  Then Frodo finds him in the house and he says,"I have something for you."  He gives Frodo this evil ring and then leaves, oh, and Gandalf is there too.

Bilbo leaves the ring with Frodo and Gandalf gets some suspicions about the ring.

Gandalf goes "Hmmmm, could this be the one ring?"
Then he leaves for an unspecified period of time.

Gandalf comes back when he realizes it's the 'One Ring' and they have to destroy it and Frodo says,"I'll do it, it's not like I'm doing anything else right now."

Since Sam was dropping eaves he goes with Frodo to destroy the ring.

  

They run into Merry and Pippen and they're all like, "Hobbit Party!"

So they all go together and they hide in the woods.  And Ringwraiths go after them and Frodo's being tempted by the ring.  I can't remember the name of the elf place and they end up going to so I'm just going to call it Elf Island.  They form the Fellowship of the Ring.  They get the leader of man: Aragon and Legolas the elf leader and Demetri the Dwarf.


Whenever I think of Elf Island,
I think of Aragon screaming "ISILDUR!!!!"

 So they take off, Borimir dies.  They keep going on.  When Borimir dies, they all get separated.  Frodo and Sam go together and the rest of the Rat Pack go another way for some reason I either can't remember or didn't care about at the time.

Then Gandalf dies in the mines of Moria by the creepy-creature-pool.  Then Borimir dies, but I think I already killed him off.  Anyway, that's pretty much the end of the first one.

In the second one, they keep on walking.  I mean talk about good exercise!  They keep walking and walking and walking!

Frodo & Sam find Gollum and they have shenanigans.
Oh, Gollum!

Gandalf comes back as Gandalf The White.
I think this is the one where Merry & Pippen find Tree Beard.

It's really long periods of walking and dialog.
Then trees walking.
Then more dialog.
Then more walking.
You get the picture.

Then they have a battle of Minas Tirith.
I don't remember anything else about the second one.

In the third one, I remember they get to the White Tree Place.  Aragon goes there and such and such.  Battling.  Then that girl comes who thinks she's a dude.

More battling.
I think I blanked out there for a while, where was I?
Oh, yeah...

Then Frodo & Sam try to dump the ring but Frodo's pretty much possessed at this point.

He really needs a good exorcism but they don't have time because there's more battling going on.  Then Gollum jumps on Frodo and ends up getting knocked off.  He falls into the lava and the ring is destroyed, the end.

Oh, and a bird the size of a Buick comes out of nowhere and carries them off into the sunset.

Seriously, why couldn't the birds have shown up earlier and done something like scratch up that big scary eye?  Guess that would end the books pretty fast though.

Then it ends like some kind of romantic comedy with all of them throwing pillows at each other and jumping on a bed in slow motion.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): Can I give it a hundred? No, well, I give it a 10 then.  They were all really good.

Dad

Read the books: Yes

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Dad: It's a story about how Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, finds a ring in an unlikely place when he was younger.  He keeps it many years tucked away in a trunk.  The ring turned out to be a very important ring.  A lot of people go through a lot of stuff just to get rid of it.  They have to look at themselves, deep within themselves and find an inner strength they didn't know they possessed to be able to go through all the trials to destroy the ring.  It's actually a pretty good lesson!  I think it's one of the best movies I've ever seen and the best book series I've ever read.

Bo: Why does the Fellowship want to destroy the ring?
Dad: Because it represents an evil presence and if the evil gets a hold of the ring, the whole world will be in darkness.  Darkness is, well, dark.

Bo: What happens at the end?
Dad: They all sail away on the ship, I believe, with the elves, so they can live forever and ever in Elfin Land.

Bo: Can you name the books in order?
Dad: The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, The Twin Towers, Return of the King

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?
Dad: A lot of the times you have to give up a lot to fight evil.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 10.  Reading the books it's hard to fathom all of the different creatures and scenery.  But when you see it it's much better.  You can look at things and go, now I understand what Tolkien meant by this description or this analogy.  It's hard to visualize a lot, visually speaking.  You have to watch it a couple of times to really understand everything.

Broham

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.

So Frodo is with his uncle and his uncle is acting shady. Gandalf says give up the ring.  Frodo and his friends run away and they end up in Rivendell. While they’re there and they decide they have to destroy the ring.  

So they get all the people together from all the different races and they make a Fellowship so they can start walking to the volcano.  Boramir tries to take the ring and then he dies trying to protect the ring.  That is what you call ironic.

Frodo and Sam runaway and then it splits up into 3 different stories for the rest of the movies.  

Over in Helm’s Deep Aragon is trying to reunite the humans when they have this battle.  Gandalf comes back to life at the end of the battle and saves the day!  Borimir's brother captures Frodo and Sam and takes them back to a human city and they get attacked by dementors.

Borimir’s brother realizes he was wrong and he helps Aragon reunite the humans.  Then they have a big battle at the giant castle and Aragon’s crowned king.  

Frodo and Sam throw the ring into the volcano and then they fly away on eagles.

Bo: What can you tell me about the ring?

Broham: It's the 'one ring to rule them all.'  It provides ultimate power over all the other rings and Sauron wants to use it to take over the world.

Bo: What happens at the end?

Broham: Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo go off to the Elf Land of Eternal Life on boats.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?

Broham: No one can control everything.

 Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Broham: Fellowship, Two Towers, Return of the King

Rating 1 out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it an 8. Part of the first movie is just pretty boring the 3^rd one more action packed and exciting.

Lishes

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.

Lishes: In the first one, the ring is discovered and Frodo has to take it to Mount Doom.  And I think the Fellowship is formed.

The second one I think it’s the battle of Helm's Deep.  I think that’s when Boramir dies and Gandalf dies.  But he’s not dead he’s just, you know "dies."  

I think he meets a spider, too.  

There may or may not be a spider in that one.

Third one is another battle.  And then Gandalf is the white wizard and he comes back fa-la-la-la-la. 
I forgot about what's-his-face. .
The Gollums?

Anyway, eagles come to the side of Mount Doom and take Frodo and his friend back to their house.  Then they are all jumping on the bed together.  Someone could fall off and get seriously injured from doing that.

Bo: Why do they want the ring?

Lishes: It’s the One Ring to rule. . . everybody.  I think because all the races have one of the rings and the One Ring controls everybody.  It’s like good for taking over the world.  If The Ring gets destroyed then it’s deactivated, but everyone else would still have a nice piece of jewelry.

I forgot about Frodo getting his finger chomped off by The Gollums, but Frodo’s missing his finger he can’t wear a ring anyway.

Bo: What happens at the end?

Lishes: They are all back at Rivendell:  the Fellowship and all the Hobbits.  Everybody’s there and Frodo wakes up in bed and he starts to see everybody coming in the door one at a time. Everyone's laughing and happy because he pretty much saved the world.

It’s a no sound, fuzzy screen, slow motion, odd ending.  Bilbo, his grandpa or uncle, goes on the boats. No, no, no Frodo goes on the boat with his uncle grandpa?

Yes with his uncle, he leaves his grandpa back at Rivendell.

  And they can't ever come back because it’s a one-way nonrefundable ticket.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?

Lishes: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover: Hobbits are small, but the littlest person can find the most strength and there’s always light in the darkness if you believe that love triumphs over all.  I'm just covering all my bases there.

Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Lishes: The Hobbit, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, Return of the King

Rating 1 out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): An 8,  I had to knock 2 off because the ending was horrible.  Great actors and directors just a few things I would change.

Bo: I said there (May Be) spoilers ahead, not that all of them would be things that actually happened in the movie.  But, hey, most of us have 'scene' them. Get it?
Chicken: Ha ha. (Slow clap) That is so funny. (Single raised eyebrow)

Bo: This was so much fun, we have to do this for another movie.
Chicken: Yeah, we've gotta see what other movies they can ruin!
Ashes: As long as we don't do The Hunger Games, Twilight, or Harry Potter.
Chicken: BAM!  That's what we're going to do!

Bo: God, I love my family.