Daylight: A New Blog

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Chicken was a vampire.
Chicken: No I'm not!

Second, there was a part of her- and I didn't know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for an ice cold Diet Coke.
Chicken: Okay, that might be true.

And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her dogs.

Now with all 5 movies out on DVD, I thought you would enjoy this.  A blog about what we think, feel, and summaries of the Twilight series by people who love it, who've read it, and some people who've not done any of those things.

Yes, my dear friends, it's time for Daylight: A New Blog!

WARNING: SPOILERS (May Be) AHEAD!!

Ashes

Bo: Please summarize the Twilight Series. 

Ashes: (Heavy Sigh) I'm only doing this because you're my sister.  I'm not a Twilight fan...at all.  Basically the story line is like this...

Teen angst and 

fast developing vampire babies, 

teen angst, 

being depressed, 

falling in love with something 

that doesn't exist in real life.

Plus Edward's like a hundred years old, how creepy is that?!?

Some decrepit ol' dude falling for a high school-er, 

he should be in jail and serving a life sentence.

Then it ends all dramatically with more teen angst, depression, and some rabid dogs.

Bo: Can you name some of the characters?

Ashes:  Okay, there's...

Bella- she’s the angst-y teen with no emotion who has a baby in like 2 days- yeah right.

Jacob- the American Indian were-dog

Edmand- is the million year old vampire that sparkles like diamonds

Shine bright like a diamond!  

You know like the Rhianna song.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a negative 10.

Lishes

Bo: Please summarize the Twilight Series. 

Lishes: There’s a girl named Bella and she meets a vampire named Edward.  He’s a good vampire.  She gets pregnant they have a demon baby.  In the end Bella and Edward may or may not get married.  People say they cry at the last one, so it must have been touching.

Then they make two teams: Team Edward and Team Jacob; and apparently they fight over multiple movies.

Bo: Which team do you side with?
Lishes: I side with Team Credits because then the movie would be over.

Bo: Can you name some of the characters?

Lishes: Sure...

Bella-antaganist a human nothing special about her. I don’t think she has a last name

Edward- has weird eyes and he’s a vampire.  He has glowing glittery skin.  He might be king of the vampires, but I don’t know his exact ranking.

Jacob- is a shirtless were wolf

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it a 1 because I don’t like Kristin Stewart, she has literally 2 expressions.  After her cheating on Edwin and the 2 expressions thing- I've lost all respect for her.

Broham

Bo: Please summarize the Twilight Series. 

Broham: Human chick likes to be dominated by Edward who's a vampire.  It's like 50 Shades of Gray was Twilight fan fiction, you see where I'm going with this?

Bella falls in love with Edward, and I don’t why, but she’s conflicted when she sees Jacob shirtless all the time.

Edward punches a car with his fist and it imploded.
He sparkles and dies if he walks in sunlight.

Then she loves Edward and Jacob, but she remembers that whole 50 Shades thing and goes back with Edward.  

Then at one time she starts to die, so Edward saves her and she gets pregnant.

Bo: Can you name some of the characters?

Broham: Sure there's...

Bella- human chick who likes to have the camera pan around her in slow motion

Edward- Robert Pattinson has a weird hair-do 

Jacob- is a werewolf and there's more of them but they're not important enough for names

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it a 0 because I can't give it anything lower than that.

Mom

Bo: Could you summarize the Twilight series?
Mom: Wait, do you mean the vampires or the perfume?
Bo: The vampires, mom.
Mom: Okay, in the first movie, it looks like one of these kids is a vampire and one's not.  The boy with no name is the vampire. They go to a restaurant and eat.

Bo: How do you know he's a vampire?
Mom: Because he said he was cold and doesn't eat.  Except he must be full of blood you know, 'cause he's a vampire.

In the second one, Bell was going to a birthday for some other vampires.  When Bell cut her finger on a present, a younger vampire attacked her and the Boy With No Name saved her.  Well he didn't really save her, he pushed her into a table.

What's the deal with the close ups of red eyes?
Okay, I don't get that.
Maybe they have allergies?

Then That Vampire Boy ran in the woods and and left her so she wouldn't be harmed or something.

But some guy with dreadlocks tries to scratch her eyes out, so she really wasn't safe at all.  Then The Boy Vampire turned into a wolf.
I guess he's a werewolf now.

In the third one, That Vampire Guy, also he's a werewolf too now, and That One Girl are talking again; so I'm assuming he must have went and got her out of the woods.

Bells or just Bell for short is That Girl's name.  Some other guy, I assume he's not a vampire, likes Bell too.  He told That Vampire Boy he might be better for Bell than he is.  Which makes sense because That Vampire Guy is a vampire-werewolf so he can't be stable; plus he dropped Bell in the middle of a woods during the last movie.

Then some red headed chick flew from a rock and through the air and gave Bell a snide look.  She looks like a vampire,  they all just seem to fly around in this movie.  Up trees, over trees, and through the air; I didn't know vampires flew like that now-a-days.

The last one actually has 2 parts, uhhhhh.   OH, Bell turned into a vampire!  Well, it only took them what, 4...5 movies?

No Name Boy and Bell have a baby.  Apparently the head vampires did not approve because it is a mortal baby. Then some lady dropped a flower vase on the floor.
Dad: Sounds like a good movie.

Mom: Then Bell, who's now a vampire somehow, said she would protect that baby.

Anyway, then a bunch of vampires want to kill Bell because she's not as cool a vampire as them.

Bo: How does it end?
Mom: Well, I'm assuming Bell doesn't die, gets turned into a vampire, gets married to That Vampire Guy, and she ends up living all happily ever after with That Vampire Guy and that little baby.

Bo: Can you name some of the characters?
Mom: I don't remember many of the names, but I'll try.  Here I go...

Bell- the girl who's not a vampire yet, she needs to be protected by That Vampire Guy for some reason
No Name Guy- the boy vampire, he wants to protect Bell the non-vampire girl
Boyfriend That's Not a Vampire- He's  much cuter than That Vampire Guy and he didn't leave her in a woods
That Little Baby Vampire-It's a girl!

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): 5 to me it's just, you know it's for a younger age

Dad

Bo: Could you please summarize the Twilight Series?
Dad: Okay, in Twilight: There's some vampire that falls for some regular human being girl.   She's seems normal but she's got some kind of breathing problem. (Pause) Maybe asthma.

Bo: Why do think she has asthma?
Dad: Because she always seems to have her mouth open, like she is having trouble breathing.  Somebody needs to hand that girl an inhaler.

The Vampire Boy seemed to care for her and he saved her life when a  van tried to kill her.

The vampires have a lot of special powers too.  Vampire Boy has super strength, he can jump...forever.

There's some kind of struggles with some vampires or person or werewolf.  The police said some guy got tore up, so I think the vampires are up against a bunch of werewolves.  Werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies, so that makes sense.

Dad: In New Moon, they were having a party and The Girl cut her finger and some guy went nuclear.

So I take it there's always "Others" watching them.  Unless The Boy's some sort of special vampire and they are trying to get to him.

The Vampire Guy left her in the woods, which was really stupid.
But then things turn out okay because some new guy is protecting her which is good.
But then you find out that he's a werewolf which is not so good.

Then there are some more guys with red eyes who look angry.  I think they're either mad at The Vampire Guy for leaving That Girl alone in the woods or they are mad at him because of all his super powers.

The Vampire Guy left to keep That Girl safe and keep her from getting killed, but it looked like it happened anyway.  Then it ends with a battle with some guys with red eyes and her new werewolf protector, who apparently can fly too.

Bo: He flies?
Dad: Yeah, Werewolf guy flies over That Girl when he turns into a werewolf.  I didn't know werewolves could fly, I guess you learn something new everyday.

Dad:  In Eclipse, man somebody had a good time when they were naming these things.

Now you got the Werewolf Guy whose in love with That Girl and the Vampire Guy whose in love with her. She kind of likes both of them, but then she realizes the one guy doesn't sparkle so she ends up with The Vampire Guy.

I think that's pretty much what it's all about, oh, and there's a Red Witch Girl too.  I like it when he faced the vampire guy and said, "You've got to face it the fact that I would be better for her."  He's got guts, that guy.

Dad:  Apparently so much is happening they have to stretch out the last movie into two movies, Breaking Dawn Part 1 & 2.

That Girl becomes a vampire and then there are some people who don't like her becoming a vampire because there would be some kind of infection in their clan.

Then the head vampires are so worried about That Girl's Infection, they decide to start a war.  It's interesting the way The Head Vampire dresses all in black with the 1800's suit.

Then the Good Guy Vampires decide they will work together, so they get the actual werewolves to help them.

Sounds interesting.  Vampires and werewolves fighting together?  Normally they fight each other.  Then somebody had a baby and it made everybody mad.  I'm not sure why, unless the baby is infected too; or maybe she has some super powers?

Bo: How do you think it ends?
Dad:  Well, bunch of kids like it; so that means it has to have a happy ending.  I'm guessing that the werewolves and the vampires decide to keep working together.  That Girl and The Vampire Guy get together and The Werewolf Boy ends up with a werewolf girl.

Oh, and no one gets infected after all.

Bo: Can you name some of the characters?

That Girl- She's a normal girl with asthma and she goes to school

Vampire Guy- He really seems to like That Girl

Werewolf Guy- Other than he seems to really like that girl I can't think of anything else about him

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I don't know, I guess a 6.  It seems like an interesting story line.

Warning!!  

Twilight Quotes Ahead!!

Ashes: Gee that was painful.  Thank goodness I have super powers, they got me through that blog.
Bo: What if I'm not a hero. . . what if I'm. . .the bad guy.

Ashes: Is that a Twilight quote? You must love that series.
Chicken: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Ashes: That's it I'm finding my car keys and then I'm outta here!
Bo: How opposed are you to grand theft auto?

Ashes: Where are my keys?
Chicken: Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

Ashes:  I don't have a Volvo I have a . . . wait, that was another Twilight quote wasn't it?
Bo & Chicken: (share sideways glances)
Ashes: AHHHHHH!!!

Bo: I think she's having hysterics, maybe you should slap her.
Chicken: Ashes I know it was rough for you, doing this blog.  It's just that. . . well, we thought you'd like it, Ashes.

Ashes: Don't do that to me again. So forgive my hysterics, and I will try to be satisfied with being the superhero of the family.

Chicken: Bo, that was pretty epic.  I didn't know you felt that way about the books.
Bo:  No one's ever loved anything as much as I love books.

Chicken: Hey Ashes!  Wait up!  What do you think of The Hunger Games?

Lord of the Blogs

Chicken is a huge Lord of the Rings fan.
I believe that she has many Middle Earth type qualities as well.
She has the height of a dwarf, the hearing of an elf, the courage of a hobbit, and the anger of Sauron.

Now with one Hobbit movie out on DVD and the other two heading to theaters in the near future, I thought you would enjoy this.  A blog about what we think, feel, and summaries of the Lord of the Rings by people who love it, who've read it, and some people who've not done any of those things.

Yes, my dear friends, it's time for The Lord of the Blogs!

Chicken and I know the answers to these questions, but these are there honest-to-goodness answers.
That being said...
WARNING: SPOILERS (May Be) AHEAD!!

Mom

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Mom: There's a bunch of little elves running around trying to get a ring.  Frodo is an elf.  Sauron is an elf too.  Gandalf is a tall elf.  I think they all want the ring.

Bo: Why do they want the ring?
Mom: The ring makes them evil.  They're trying to keep the elves from getting the ring.

Bo: What happens at the end?
Mom: One of the elves gets the ring at the end of the movie and it made him mean. Then at the very end of the movie they all die.
Bo: Who dies?
Mom: All of them.  All the elves: Gandalf, Frodo, Sardine, the one in a diaper.  All of them die.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?
Mom: The moral of the story is they all fought over the ring and they shouldn't be doing that.  You shouldn't be greedy or you will die like the elves did.

Bo: What did you think of the movies?
Mom: Yeah it's alright, it's not my favorite but it's okay.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 2 because it's just too complicated. Now Paycheck and True Lies, and the first two Pirates of the Caribbean movies: I'd recommend any of those over this one.

Ashes 

Read the books: I remember reading the Hobbit.

Watched ALL the movies: Yeah I've seen them all.

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Ashes: Okay I guess the abridged version would be they are having a celebration for Bilbo's birthday and he decides that he's going to go to Elf Island to die.  Then Frodo finds him in the house and he says,"I have something for you."  He gives Frodo this evil ring and then leaves, oh, and Gandalf is there too.

Bilbo leaves the ring with Frodo and Gandalf gets some suspicions about the ring.

Gandalf goes "Hmmmm, could this be the one ring?"
Then he leaves for an unspecified period of time.

Gandalf comes back when he realizes it's the 'One Ring' and they have to destroy it and Frodo says,"I'll do it, it's not like I'm doing anything else right now."

Since Sam was dropping eaves he goes with Frodo to destroy the ring.

  

They run into Merry and Pippen and they're all like, "Hobbit Party!"

So they all go together and they hide in the woods.  And Ringwraiths go after them and Frodo's being tempted by the ring.  I can't remember the name of the elf place and they end up going to so I'm just going to call it Elf Island.  They form the Fellowship of the Ring.  They get the leader of man: Aragon and Legolas the elf leader and Demetri the Dwarf.


Whenever I think of Elf Island,
I think of Aragon screaming "ISILDUR!!!!"

 So they take off, Borimir dies.  They keep going on.  When Borimir dies, they all get separated.  Frodo and Sam go together and the rest of the Rat Pack go another way for some reason I either can't remember or didn't care about at the time.

Then Gandalf dies in the mines of Moria by the creepy-creature-pool.  Then Borimir dies, but I think I already killed him off.  Anyway, that's pretty much the end of the first one.

In the second one, they keep on walking.  I mean talk about good exercise!  They keep walking and walking and walking!

Frodo & Sam find Gollum and they have shenanigans.
Oh, Gollum!

Gandalf comes back as Gandalf The White.
I think this is the one where Merry & Pippen find Tree Beard.

It's really long periods of walking and dialog.
Then trees walking.
Then more dialog.
Then more walking.
You get the picture.

Then they have a battle of Minas Tirith.
I don't remember anything else about the second one.

In the third one, I remember they get to the White Tree Place.  Aragon goes there and such and such.  Battling.  Then that girl comes who thinks she's a dude.

More battling.
I think I blanked out there for a while, where was I?
Oh, yeah...

Then Frodo & Sam try to dump the ring but Frodo's pretty much possessed at this point.

He really needs a good exorcism but they don't have time because there's more battling going on.  Then Gollum jumps on Frodo and ends up getting knocked off.  He falls into the lava and the ring is destroyed, the end.

Oh, and a bird the size of a Buick comes out of nowhere and carries them off into the sunset.

Seriously, why couldn't the birds have shown up earlier and done something like scratch up that big scary eye?  Guess that would end the books pretty fast though.

Then it ends like some kind of romantic comedy with all of them throwing pillows at each other and jumping on a bed in slow motion.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): Can I give it a hundred? No, well, I give it a 10 then.  They were all really good.

Dad

Read the books: Yes

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.
Dad: It's a story about how Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, finds a ring in an unlikely place when he was younger.  He keeps it many years tucked away in a trunk.  The ring turned out to be a very important ring.  A lot of people go through a lot of stuff just to get rid of it.  They have to look at themselves, deep within themselves and find an inner strength they didn't know they possessed to be able to go through all the trials to destroy the ring.  It's actually a pretty good lesson!  I think it's one of the best movies I've ever seen and the best book series I've ever read.

Bo: Why does the Fellowship want to destroy the ring?
Dad: Because it represents an evil presence and if the evil gets a hold of the ring, the whole world will be in darkness.  Darkness is, well, dark.

Bo: What happens at the end?
Dad: They all sail away on the ship, I believe, with the elves, so they can live forever and ever in Elfin Land.

Bo: Can you name the books in order?
Dad: The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, The Twin Towers, Return of the King

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?
Dad: A lot of the times you have to give up a lot to fight evil.

Rating out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I'd give it a 10.  Reading the books it's hard to fathom all of the different creatures and scenery.  But when you see it it's much better.  You can look at things and go, now I understand what Tolkien meant by this description or this analogy.  It's hard to visualize a lot, visually speaking.  You have to watch it a couple of times to really understand everything.

Broham

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.

So Frodo is with his uncle and his uncle is acting shady. Gandalf says give up the ring.  Frodo and his friends run away and they end up in Rivendell. While they’re there and they decide they have to destroy the ring.  

So they get all the people together from all the different races and they make a Fellowship so they can start walking to the volcano.  Boramir tries to take the ring and then he dies trying to protect the ring.  That is what you call ironic.

Frodo and Sam runaway and then it splits up into 3 different stories for the rest of the movies.  

Over in Helm’s Deep Aragon is trying to reunite the humans when they have this battle.  Gandalf comes back to life at the end of the battle and saves the day!  Borimir's brother captures Frodo and Sam and takes them back to a human city and they get attacked by dementors.

Borimir’s brother realizes he was wrong and he helps Aragon reunite the humans.  Then they have a big battle at the giant castle and Aragon’s crowned king.  

Frodo and Sam throw the ring into the volcano and then they fly away on eagles.

Bo: What can you tell me about the ring?

Broham: It's the 'one ring to rule them all.'  It provides ultimate power over all the other rings and Sauron wants to use it to take over the world.

Bo: What happens at the end?

Broham: Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo go off to the Elf Land of Eternal Life on boats.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?

Broham: No one can control everything.

 Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Broham: Fellowship, Two Towers, Return of the King

Rating 1 out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): I give it an 8. Part of the first movie is just pretty boring the 3^rd one more action packed and exciting.

Lishes

Read the books: No

Watched ALL the movies: Yes

Bo: Please summarize the movies to the best of your ability.

Lishes: In the first one, the ring is discovered and Frodo has to take it to Mount Doom.  And I think the Fellowship is formed.

The second one I think it’s the battle of Helm's Deep.  I think that’s when Boramir dies and Gandalf dies.  But he’s not dead he’s just, you know "dies."  

I think he meets a spider, too.  

There may or may not be a spider in that one.

Third one is another battle.  And then Gandalf is the white wizard and he comes back fa-la-la-la-la. 
I forgot about what's-his-face. .
The Gollums?

Anyway, eagles come to the side of Mount Doom and take Frodo and his friend back to their house.  Then they are all jumping on the bed together.  Someone could fall off and get seriously injured from doing that.

Bo: Why do they want the ring?

Lishes: It’s the One Ring to rule. . . everybody.  I think because all the races have one of the rings and the One Ring controls everybody.  It’s like good for taking over the world.  If The Ring gets destroyed then it’s deactivated, but everyone else would still have a nice piece of jewelry.

I forgot about Frodo getting his finger chomped off by The Gollums, but Frodo’s missing his finger he can’t wear a ring anyway.

Bo: What happens at the end?

Lishes: They are all back at Rivendell:  the Fellowship and all the Hobbits.  Everybody’s there and Frodo wakes up in bed and he starts to see everybody coming in the door one at a time. Everyone's laughing and happy because he pretty much saved the world.

It’s a no sound, fuzzy screen, slow motion, odd ending.  Bilbo, his grandpa or uncle, goes on the boats. No, no, no Frodo goes on the boat with his uncle grandpa?

Yes with his uncle, he leaves his grandpa back at Rivendell.

  And they can't ever come back because it’s a one-way nonrefundable ticket.

Bo: Do you think there is a moral to this epic tale?

Lishes: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover: Hobbits are small, but the littlest person can find the most strength and there’s always light in the darkness if you believe that love triumphs over all.  I'm just covering all my bases there.

Bo:  Can you name any of the books?

Lishes: The Hobbit, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, Return of the King

Rating 1 out of 10 (1 low and 10 high): An 8,  I had to knock 2 off because the ending was horrible.  Great actors and directors just a few things I would change.

Bo: I said there (May Be) spoilers ahead, not that all of them would be things that actually happened in the movie.  But, hey, most of us have 'scene' them. Get it?
Chicken: Ha ha. (Slow clap) That is so funny. (Single raised eyebrow)

Bo: This was so much fun, we have to do this for another movie.
Chicken: Yeah, we've gotta see what other movies they can ruin!
Ashes: As long as we don't do The Hunger Games, Twilight, or Harry Potter.
Chicken: BAM!  That's what we're going to do!

Bo: God, I love my family.